The man i meant to be

Lyrics

Verse 1 I found an old picture in a shoebox drawer Little boy grinnin’ on a hardwood floor Cape on his back, boots on the wrong feet Thought he could save everybody on the street He had a dog named Lucky, a gap-tooth smile Didn’t know the world could get mean after while Didn’t know daddies could leave like smoke Didn’t know hearts could learn how to choke Now I’m standin’ here older With a face I barely know Ask myself in the mirror Where’d that little boy go? Chorus I’m tryin’ to be the man I meant to be The one that boy would still believe The one my mama prayed about The one my ma'am maw hoped she’d see I’ve been the storm, I’ve been the wound I’ve been the match in a crowded room But somewhere under all this grief There’s still a better part of me God, I’m tired of runnin’ from The man I meant to be Verse 2 I’ve said words I couldn’t take back Slammed doors like a thundercrack Loved good women the wrong damn way Then acted shocked when they couldn’t stay I’ve worn my pride like a loaded gun Pointed it at everyone Called it strength when it was fear Called it truth when it was tears And I ain’t askin’ for a clean slate I know scars don’t disappear But Lord, if You’re still listenin’ I could use You down here Chorus I’m tryin’ to be the man I meant to be The one that boy would still believe The one my mama prayed about The one my ma'am maw hoped she’d see I’ve been the storm, I’ve been the wound I’ve been the match in a crowded room But somewhere under all this grief There’s still a better part of me God, I’m tired of runnin’ from The man I meant to be Verse 3 There’s a kid somewhere with my last name Maybe just a dream, maybe someday And I don’t wanna hand him down All the hurt that drug me around I wanna teach him how to cast a line How to apologize when he ain’t right How to hold a woman with gentle hands How to be soft and still be a man I wanna show him strength ain’t rage And love ain’t chains, and home ain’t a cage And when life gets heavy, you bend your knees You don’t make everybody bleed Bridge So I’m layin’ down the whiskey pride The “I’m okay” and the “never mind” The sleepless nights, the borrowed blame The bad old habits with my name I’m pickin’ up the phone I feared Sayin’ what I should’ve said for years “I’m sorry” ain’t a magic key But it’s a damn good place to start for me Final Chorus I’m tryin’ to be the man I meant to be The one that boy would still believe The one my mama prayed about The one my ma'am maw hoped she’d see I’ve been the storm, but I’ve seen the sun I ain’t too far, and I ain’t too gone There’s a little faith beneath this grief Still fightin’ like hell inside of me God, I’m done with runnin’ from The man I meant to be Outro I found that old picture and I set it free On the dashboard where that boy can see Every mile, every prayer, every morning light I’m still not him But I’m closer tonight