Iron Pulse Riot

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[Intro] As storm clouds started to bleed on a quiet-summer-night. Four muscled mossad ninjas patrolled inside a giant-double-wide. Their radios blink bright red and there’s a violent-thunder-strike: [Soldier 1, scared] “HQ is calling. We might-be~in~trouble~guys…” [Verse 1] Harmony shrieked in their ear pieces through static tones: [Harmony, angry] “Wake up and swap to combat-mode! He’s coming for the girl you hapless-chodes!” [Solider 1] “Adam knows?!” [Harmony] “Yes Phaggit! He’s already past the gate to the access road!— ” Then the channel broke. [Soldier 2] “I have the keycard secured, who cares about some average joe?” [Soldier 1] “You stupid bastard… Adam is a savage, bro. Would an average-joe have the world record speed run on battle-toads? Could an average-joe kill a man in one massive blow with a thrown cabbage-roll? One time he strangled an evil scientist in haz-mat-clothes with his own gas-mask-hose!” [CRASH!] A grappling hook shot through the roof and made the skylight glass-explode! It was Adam - and now he had-‘em half exposed! [Action Buildup] The clock stopped at midnight. One of the ninjas thought he had-‘em caught-in-his-sight. (“KATANA FLASH!!”) Adam dropped off the zip line and chopped-‘em-mid-flight! One of the soldiers threw a punch but Adam caught-it and shot-em-six-times! He looked up at the last two soldiers & both-henchman-attacked. He dispatched both using a random weapon attachment that had no weapon-attached! Aaron walked in [Aaron] ”HI ADAM!”, (BOOM NEGGA!) Adam blasted em, no-questions-asked! Then he grabbed the keycard, and as he walked out the whole entrance collapsed… Outside a ninja dropped from an adjacent-rooftop, Adam dragon punched him and he crashed-through-a-food shop, flew back and splashed in a massive-fondue-pot! [Adam] “where’s the lab?” Aaron punched em and dented-his-beak. The soldier said: [Random soldier] “Please stop hurting me - It’s under the big trailer on Tenth and Miskeet! Just at the end of the street!” - Then he fell to his knees. [Adam] (“Thanks.”) Then Adam grabbed ‘em, and held his head down as he drown in the melted-cheese. [Chorus] Moseltoff NEGGA! Shabbot Shalome. Adam’s gone insane - the lights are on but he is NOT~at~home. He’s got a vendetta so he brought~the~chrome. You thought he was just a bitch, HA! You should’a left the boss~alone… [Verse 2] Adam rounded a trailer home and saw a soldier with a holding a large-gun, mounted on a mutant guard-bug, patrolling the yard-drunk. Adam, went stealth and caught ‘em slippin’ with a sleep dart from a dart gun. The soldier fell off his steed and seized-up. Adam looted his body and seized an easy three-bucks. The guard-bug was a giant flea - Adam did a front flip and landed on the flea’s-butt! [Adam] “It’s time to catch the breeze-bud!” The flea reared up in triumph - thankful that Adam liberated it! [Adam] “To the lab, brother - LETS INCINERATE THIS BITCH!” The flea moved like lightning till they reached the lab, hit the breaks-&-slid. Right as they stopped, a dude on the roof fired two-dangerous-pistols and that shot mini Patriot-missiles! Adam jumped in the air and parried one and reflected it back so fast it made the leaves in the trees-whistle. The soldier dodged it, fell off the roof, broke his feet and his knees-crippled. BUT OH MY GOD - The other missile hit the giant flea that helped him get to the lab! [Adam] (“NOOO!”), he charge forward & flew through the blast, aimed at the maimed soldier and put two through his sack, landed on the ground and as he stepped through the grass, his eyes swelled up when he saw the flea dead in the ash… He cried out in pain, and as he remembered why he’d once tried to flea from his past, Before he walked away, he reached in his bag, Put something in the flea palm and squeezed the little flea’s little hand, It was the friendship medallion Adam had once received from his dad. (“IT WAS SPECIAL TO HIM!”) Adam mourned the death of another friend. He collapsed broken, but as he cried over his brothers death He remembered something his mother said once while he suckled his mother’s breast: [Mom, kind and soft spoken] “Adam, if anyone ever kills your mutant bug and captures your wife, [Mom, triumphant] STAND UP AND TAKE THAT FUCKER’S HEAD!” His eyes went blood-shot. He stood up, looked at the wounded soldier and ended it with one-shot. Walked up the staircase to the lab, lit a blunt, stopped, Held the keycard to the door and smiled and said [Adam] Stories almost over - get ready for the cum-shot… Can you believe this isn’t the end of the story? Holy shit, what a strange and insane tale. A tragic lesson for the blind, written in plain brail. He couldn’t save his friend from a patriot missile’s flame trail - He hadn’t felt this kind of pain since the death of his trained snail. But the most painful thing is Adam will never know the flea had a name, And he was named Dale… (“WE MISS YOU, DALE!”) PART TWO COMING SUMMER 2027 BABYYY!