Too Much To Carry

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[VERSE 1] I know I push when I should let it breathe, Want an answer now, hate waiting patiently. I read too far into a change in your tone, Then build a whole storm while I’m sitting alone. I’m moody, I’m restless, I switch like the weather, I swear I’m okay, then I fall apart together. I feel every silence like somebody screamed, And nothing is ever as small as it seems. My mind runs circles, a hundred at once, ADHD got me chasing whatever I want. I’m all in today, then distracted tomorrow, A head full of noise and a heart full of sorrow. [PRE-CHORUS] And I know I can be hard to understand, I hold on too tightly when I care where I stand. Sometimes I wonder if loving me means Carrying weight you never agreed to receive. [CHORUS] Maybe I’m too much to carry, Too impatient, too intense. Too many feelings in my chest, Too many walls, too much defense. I’ve got standards, expectations, I won’t pretend that I don’t. I want people to mean what they tell me, And it hurts like hell when they won’t. Maybe I’m a liability, A storm people learn to outrun. I get obsessive, I get sensitive, I turn one thought into a hundred and one. And I wish I could make myself easier, Less complicated, less deep. But I don’t know how to stop feeling Everything that everybody else barely sees. [VERSE 2] I get bored when the spark starts fading, Need something moving, something changing. Then when I finally find something I love, I hold it too close, I can’t loosen my touch. I ask too many questions, I need reassurance, I notice the distance before there is distance. I can feel forgotten in half of a day, Then get too pushy trying to make you stay. I know my standards can feel like a test, But I don’t ask for perfect, I ask for your best. Respect me, be honest, don’t cross every line, Don’t call me demanding for protecting what’s mine. But maybe I expect what people can’t give, Maybe I make it exhausting to live Inside all the feelings I never can hide— There’s no volume control on the heart in my mind. [PRE-CHORUS] And I know I can be hard to understand, I need things explained when they don’t go as planned. Sometimes I look at the people I love And wonder when I became too much. [CHORUS] Maybe I’m too much to carry, Too impatient, too intense. Too many feelings in my chest, Too many walls, too much defense. I’ve got standards, expectations, I won’t pretend that I don’t. I want people to mean what they tell me, And it hurts like hell when they won’t. Maybe I’m a liability, A storm people learn to outrun. I get obsessive, I get sensitive, I turn one thought into a hundred and one. And I wish I could make myself easier, Less complicated, less deep. But I don’t know how to stop feeling Everything that everybody else barely sees. [BRIDGE] I’ve made mistakes. I’ve pushed too hard. I’ve spoken from fear And called it my heart. I’ve wanted attention When I should’ve made space. I’ve needed an answer Before people were ready to say it. I’ve taken things personally, I’ve let my thoughts win. I’ve replayed conversations Again and again. I know all the parts of me People call difficult too— Believe me, I live with them Longer than you do. But maybe being difficult Doesn’t mean I’m bad. Maybe I’m still learning How to handle what I have. How to love without gripping, How to wait without fear, How to feel everything deeply Without drowning everyone near. [FINAL CHORUS] Yeah, maybe I’m a lot to carry, Impatient, complicated, intense. I’ve got a heart with no dimmer switch And a mind that never rests. I’ve got standards and emotions, And sometimes I get them wrong. Sometimes I hold on too tightly, Sometimes I’ve held on too long. I might be somebody’s liability, If they need quiet, simple, and small. But I’m loyal when I love you, And when I care, I give it all. So I’m learning how to be softer Without disappearing completely. Because maybe the things that make me difficult Are also the things that make me me. [OUTRO] Too pushy. Too restless. Too sensitive. Too deep. Maybe I’m not easy to carry— But I’m trying to carry me.