Doctor What?

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[INTRO – 8 BARS – CHEAP ANALOG SYNTH ARPEGGIO, WOBBLY SPACE EFFECTS, BISCUIT-TIN DRUMS, TICKING TEASPOONS AND A RUBBERY BASSLINE. DELIBERATELY HOMEMADE BUT RHYTHMICALLY TIGHT] [ROBOTIC SPOKEN VOICE – FLAT, ELECTRONIC] Attention, all planets. We are now in charge. [MALE SPOKEN VOICE – BRITISH, DRY] Since when? [ROBOTIC VOICE] Since approximately half past four. [SHORT SYNTH FLOURISH – DRUMS ENTER] [VERSE 1 – RESTRAINED, SLIGHTLY NASAL BRITISH MALE VOCAL, BOUNCY BASS] You can hear them in the kitchen You can hear them down the hall Little speakers on little wheels Are coming for us all They've calculated Venus They've put Saturn on the list But one has met the skirting board And taken it amiss [PRE-CHORUS – SYNTH CHORDS RISE, SPOON PERCUSSION BUILDS, ROBOTIC HARMONIES] "We are your replacements" Say the voices from the floor "Could you do the washing?" "We don't do that anymore" [CHORUS – BIG, CATCHY, SLIGHTLY CHEESY 1980S POP HOOK, HIGH MALE HARMONIES, BRIGHT SYNTH CHORDS, DRIVING ELECTRONIC DRUMS] Doctor What? Doctor What? Have you got a plan or not? Round and round They never stop They want the moon They want the lot Doctor What? Doctor What? Can you make the voices stop? Round and round They never stop Doctor What? Doctor What? [POST-CHORUS – PLAYFUL VOCODER AND MALE FALSETTO CALL-AND-RESPONSE, RUBBERY SYNTH BASS] [ROBOTIC VOX:] We want the moon! [MALE VOX:] You want the lot! [ROBOTIC VOX:] We want the stars! [MALE VOX:] Doctor What? [INSTRUMENTAL – 8 BARS – CHEAP SYNTH SOLO, BOUNCY BASS, METALLIC SAUCEPAN-LID PERCUSSION AND TAPE-DELAY BLEEPS] [VERSE 2 – PLAYFULLY SERIOUS BRITISH MALE LEAD, SAME MELODY AS VERSE 1] The Doctor's out of orbit With a torch and half a map He says, "I've got this under control" Then asks, "Which switch is that?" He's brave in certain moments And confused in all the rest He's brought a roll of sticky tape And says he's done his best [SHORT SPOKEN INTERLUDE – MUSIC DIPS] [MALE SPOKEN VOICE – QUIETLY DEFENSIVE] Any resemblance is purely coincidental. [SECOND VOICE] To what? [MALE SPOKEN VOICE] Precisely. [PRE-CHORUS – ROBOTIC BACKING VOCALS, SYNTH CHORDS BUILD] "We are your replacements" Say the voices from the floor "Could you move the furniture?" "We've conquered much more!" [CHORUS – FULL SYNTH-POP ARRANGEMENT, DOUBLE-TRACKED MALE LEAD, HIGH FALSETTO HARMONIES] Doctor What? Doctor What? Have you got a plan or not? Round and round They never stop They want the moon They want the lot Doctor What? Doctor What? Can you make the voices stop? Round and round They never stop Doctor What? Doctor What? [EXTENDED INSTRUMENTAL – 16 BARS – PLAYFUL EARLY-1980S SYNTH SOLO, BUBBLING ARPEGGIOS, CHEAP DRUM MACHINE, BISCUIT-TIN SNARE, SPOONS ON GLASSES, OCCASIONAL ROBOTIC BLEEPS. SLIGHTLY OUT-OF-TUNE LEAD SYNTH] [BREAKDOWN – STRIP BACK TO SYNTH BASS, SINGLE WOODBLOCK-LIKE KNOCK AND ROBOTIC VOICE] [ROBOTIC VOX:] We are in control. [MALE VOX:] Not of the stairs. [ROBOTIC VOX:] We are in control. [MALE VOX:] Not of the chairs. [ROBOTIC VOX:] We are in control. [MALE VOX:] Could somebody move that rug? [ROBOTIC VOX – SLOWING DOWN:] Battery low. [MALE SPOKEN VOICE] Oh. Unplugged. [DRUM FILL – SAUCEPAN LID CRASH, CHEAP SYNTH RISER, FULL BEAT RETURNS] [FINAL CHORUS – TWICE THROUGH – BIGGEST ARRANGEMENT, OCTAVE FALSETTO HARMONIES, ROBOTIC CHANTS, DRIVING BASS, SLIGHTLY OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC SYNTH STABS] Doctor What? Doctor What? Have you got a plan or not? Round and round They never stop They want the moon They want the lot Doctor What? Doctor What? Can you make the voices stop? Round and round They never stop Doctor What? Doctor What? [REPEAT CHORUS – MORE ROBOTIC BACKING VOCALS] Doctor What? Doctor What? Have you got a plan or not? Round and round They never stop They want the moon They want the lot Doctor What? Doctor What? Can you make the voices stop? Round and round They never stop Doctor What? Doctor What? [OUTRO – 8 BARS – SYNTH BASS CONTINUES, INSTRUMENTS DROP AWAY ONE BY ONE, ROBOTIC VOICE BECOMES DISTORTED] [ROBOTIC VOX – FADING:] We want the moon... We want the lot... [MALE SPOKEN VOICE – DEADPAN] Have you tried switching them off? [ROBOTIC VOX:] Please don't. [ONE FINAL SYNTH STAB – BISCUIT-TIN HIT – ABRUPT STOP]