Sold to the Man in the Back

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Auctioneer Chant Song (Original lyrics in classic rapid-fire auctioneer style) [Intro – slow build] Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round, Got a little something goin’ up for bid right now… Startin’ low, movin’ fast, don’t blink or you’ll miss it— Here we go! [Chant / Verse 1] One dollar bid, now two, now two, will ya give me two? Two dollar bid, now three, now three, will ya give me three? Three dollar bid, now four, now four, who’s got four? Four dollar bid, now five, now five, keep it alive! Five dollar bid, now ten, now ten, can I get a ten? Ten dollar bid, now twenty, twenty, who’s got twenty? Twenty dollar bid, now thirty, thirty, don’t be shy! Thirty dollar bid, now forty, forty, look ‘em in the eye! [Chorus – full speed] Yup! Now! Who’ll give? Goin’ once, goin’ twice, Raise that hand, make it nice! Yup! Now! Who’ll give? Sold to the man in the back— Next up, let’s keep it on track! [Chant / Verse 2] Fifty dollar bid, now sixty, sixty, can I hear sixty? Sixty dollar bid, now seventy, seventy, don’t you miss me! Seventy dollar bid, now eighty, eighty, raise it high! Eighty dollar bid, now ninety, ninety, reach for the sky! Ninety dollar bid, now a hundred, hundred, who’s got the nerve? Hundred dollar bid, now one-ten, one-ten, don’t you swerve! One-ten bid, now one-twenty, one-twenty, keep it rollin’! One-twenty bid, now one-fifty, one-fifty, the heat is growin’! [Chorus] Yup! Now! Who’ll give? Goin’ once, goin’ twice, Raise that hand, make it nice! Yup! Now! Who’ll give? Sold to the lady up front— Next item, let’s make it jump! [Bridge – half-time for drama] Look at this beauty, clean as a whistle, Never been touched, still got that sizzle… Startin’ at two hundred, who’s got the fire? Two hundred… two-fifty… three… higher… higher… [Final Chant – full speed, building] Three hundred bid, now three-fifty, three-fifty, can I get it? Three-fifty bid, now four, now four, don’t you quit it! Four hundred bid, now four-fifty, four-fifty, raise it up! Four-fifty bid, now five, now five, fill the cup! Five hundred bid, now five-fifty, five-fifty, last call! Five-fifty bid, now six, now six, give it your all! Six hundred once… six hundred twice… Six hundred—SOLD! To the highest price! [Outro] That’s a wrap, folks, another one gone, Auctioneer’s done, but the night rolls on… Yup! Now! Who’s next? Come on back, don’t be late— We’ll start the whole thing all over again at eight!