Ten More Days in Malta

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[Verse 1] Alex went to Malta for a week of sun and sea, Then his belly button staged a coup beneath his tee. The doctor took one look and said, “We’ll have to clear the hair,” Now Alex has a landing strip that wasn’t in the plan. [Pre-Chorus] He said, “I nearly bled out, I saw my life go by!” The nurse said, “You’re quite all right,” he said, “Well, nearly, by—” [Chorus] Ten more days in Malta, ten more days away, Alex found a medical reason he can stay. He’s healing by the poolside, bravely sipping lime, Anything to dodge a little quality time. Ten more days in Malta, tell the wife he’s fine, Just don’t ask him to come home before the tenth day’s time. [Verse 2] They shaved his tummy smooth as marble, bandaged up the spot, He posed beside the hotel sign and said, “I’ve suffered quite a lot.” He sent a solemn photo with a very serious face, Then ordered chips and ice cream from the poolside waiter’s place. [Pre-Chorus] He said, “It’s touch and go, I’m hanging by a thread!” Then asked if late checkout came with breakfast in bed. [Chorus] Ten more days in Malta, ten more days away, Alex found a medical reason he can stay. He’s healing by the poolside, bravely sipping lime, Anything to dodge a little quality time. Ten more days in Malta, tell the wife he’s fine, Just don’t ask him to come home before the tenth day’s time. [Bridge] A tiny little abscess, a shave across the middle, A tale of grave misfortune with a poolside ukulele. He’ll swear he’s being stoic, he’ll swear it’s all so rough, But when the doctor says “one more week,” he’ll say, “That’s not enough!” [Final Chorus] Ten more days in Malta, ten more days away, Alex found a medical reason he can stay. He’s healing by the poolside, bravely sipping lime, Anything to dodge a little quality time. Ten more days in Malta, let the record show: He nearly bled out—well, not quite—but he’s not ready to go! [Outro] Not ready to go! He’s not ready to go!