My Daze

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[Until BREAKDOWN: sing “One of these days” before EVERY lyric line. Stagger and increasingly overlap repetitions.] [VERSE 1] life will be easy I won't live in fear I will be smiling I'll smile from ear to ear I'll be understood I'll be believed won't need to prove myself I might be seen [CHORUS] I'll be my true self I'll be like everyone else I'll know my place I'll be allowed to live I might be believed They won't leave me they might see me they'll justify their lies anyway [Build overlapping “One of these days” voices; each enters before another finishes. Keep building.] [BRIDGE] Why did I deserve this? Never could have predicted it, Eyes wide open, now can I see it. Burning tears repeated. Decades were taken. Future now looks different. Lost my only safe space. [Silence] Took away their innocence. [BREAKDOWN — STOP “One of these days”. Scatter whispered “Shhh… listen” and “Shhh… listen close” freely between lines.] Can't figure it out. You can't hear that? I think I hear it now... You'll hear it if you listen... [Silence] Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I hear it now.... I hear it..... Why couldn't I hear it... [Distant voice] You couldn't hear it,... [Lead whisper] Because I... The truth sounds different. [EXPLODE — overlap/fragment: truth / too hard to hear / too many years / too many scars] Didn't want to hear the Truth. Truth Too hard to hear. Left me to live in tears. Too many years. Too many scars. You should have seen it. But I was never that person, was I? Don't come back. When I rebuild my life. [Make “You don't know me” the dominant repeating vocal loop; asynchronous, overlapping.] You don't know me now. You don't know me. You don't know me. I know me. I remember. I figured it out, [Bring back “One of these days”; collide BOTH repeating motifs.] You don't know me. No. You don't know me. [VERSE 3 — loops collapse] Not every cloud has a silver lining. Tomorrow won't always be easier. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. Time doesn't always heal. Sometimes losing is winning. To have nothing is having it all. The grass isn't always greener. The worst is yet to come. They might never come to their senses. Maybe the future isn't bright. What if it never gets easier? What if we have more than one life? [INTERLUDE — spoken; whispers interrupt with “Shhh”] Maybe we need to be real and call it exactly what it is. No. Don't Shhhh...you can't. Too uncomfortable. Don't say anything. keep it hidden. I'm Staying out of it, it's for the best, ignore her begging for help, she'll be fine, stay away and hope for the best. [VERSE 4] Check out or check in. Take the chance or stay away. Enable the villain. Couldn't ask. Are you okay? Believe one chapter of the story. The words move around on the page. Other chapters are repetitive and boring. Words never move, never change. You weren't pushed away. You left all on your own. Had a choice to leave or stay. You decided to go. [CLIMAX] ONLY NEEDED TO BELIEVE ME; ONLY NEEDED TO STAND WITH ME; ONLY NEEDED TO HOLD ME; EASIER TO BLAME, WALK AWAY, TOO HARD TO STAY, YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE ME, ANYWAY. Did words match the actions? Were other chapters believed? Anyone ask what caused the reaction? Changing words were moving to deceive. [DROP] In a world filled with stories, how easy the book was judged. Hand the villain all the glory. Ignore the chapters he left out. Accepted, discarded, became my every day. What if your advice isn't needed? Maybe, just maybe, don't say anything, you don't need to understand it, just listen. It's not your story. Your judgement isn't needed. How cruel. If it's that hard to hear. How hard is it to live through. [FINAL STORM — EXTEND. Freely improvise/repeat ALL motifs simultaneously: “One of these days” / “Shhh… listen” / “You don't know me” / “I know me” / “I remember” / “What do you hear?” Many independent voices; no unison or fixed rhythm. Overlap, interrupt and collide. Keep escalating far beyond written lines, then slowly disintegrate.] What do you hear... Shhhhhhhh..... listen... You don't know me.... now... [Everything disappears. One close whisper.] Shhhhhhhh..... listen... One of these days. You don't know me.....