
Alex, what stands out most across this entire exchange is that you hold me completely accountable for every miscommunication, yet take zero responsibility for your own actions, words, or tone. The Double Standard: You attack me for not reaching out or driving to see you, but when I ask why you didn’t come up to see me while I was struggling, you immediately list excuses for why you couldn't be bothered. Effort and communication are two-way streets, but you act as if the burden is 100% on me. Minimizing Verbal Abuse: You repeatedly called me a coward, escalated to "fucking coward," and then dismissed it by telling me to "relax" and that there’s nothing wrong with saying that. You expect grace and consideration for your feelings while taking zero ownership of the fact that you resort to insults the moment you’re frustrated. Deflecting Instead of Listening: When I told you I was dealing with a death in the family, heavy emotional news, and severe exhaustion, your response wasn't empathy—it was to criticize how I function and bring up old grievances to justify your anger. You claim I only think about myself, but you refuse to look in the mirror. A relationship cannot work when one person is expected to absorb all the blame while the other claims total blamelessness. If we are going to communicate, it has to involve mutual accountability and basic respect—neither of which you are offering right It’s impossible to have a productive conversation when you deflect every single issue back onto me. You demand effort, yet justify making none yourself. You demand empathy, yet meet my grief and exhaustion with name-calling. And when I point out that calling me a "fucking coward" is unacceptable, you dismiss it and tell me to relax instead of taking any accountability for how you treat me. You hold me under a microscope while completely excusing your own hostility, double standards, and lack of effort. Until you can acknowledge your role in how we communicate and speak to me with basic respect, there is nothing left to debate here.
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