The Town of Perfection

Lyrics

[OPENING CHORUS] You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up. [VERSE 1] Val & Earl are hired hands. They are a two man crew. Need a fence put up? Need your shit tanker emptied? They’ll do it. [CHORUS] Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters. [VERSE 2] Burt & Heather are the town gun lovers. Burt is the towns weapon specialist. Heather is his solid as a rock wife. Together they can kill just about anything. Broke into the wrong goddamn rec-room, didn't ya you bastard! [BRIDGE] THERE IN THE GROUND! Rock, Paper, Scissors! These ain’t no normal Tremors! Perfection got Grab-oid problems! Burt get the elephant gun! [VERSE 3] Wang’s Market is the town hot spot. Everyone hangs around there. Wang named the Grab-oids. He was also a meal for one. [CHORUS] It was bologna and beans Stupid sum-bitch knocked itself cold. It was eggs. Over easy. Cold my ass. He’s dead. It was a cowboy lovin’ night. We killed it! FUUUCCKK, YOUUUU! [VERSE 4] I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys. In the ground of Perfection, Nevada. Is a whale of a worm problem. These girthy subterranean invertebrates are fast & tough monsters. It has a large beaked mouth. Inside lies its many vicious eel tongues. These tongues bite and grab the prey, bringing it into the worms mouth for total devourment. The live ones [CLOSING CHORUS] Dammnit! Valentine! Running isn’t a plan. Rock Paper Scissors, Can you fly! You, sucker! Earl & Val are hired hands. Got a Grab-oid to kill? They are the men for the job. [END CLOSING] Son of a God-damn bitch. Pardon my french. Shit. We got another motha’ humper! Burt get the elephant gun! Well I’ll tell ya, nobody handles Grab-oids better than we do.