The Town of Perfection

Lyrics

[OPENING CHORUS]
You will have long blonde hair,
big green eyes,
world class breasts,
ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up.

[VERSE 1]
Val & Earl are hired hands.
They are a two man crew.
Need a fence put up?
Need your shit tanker emptied?
They’ll do it.

[CHORUS]
Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas,
air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter.
Bomb shelter!
Underground... God damn monsters.

[VERSE 2]
Burt & Heather are the town gun lovers.
Burt is the towns weapon specialist.
Heather is his solid as a rock wife.
Together they can kill just about anything.
Broke into the wrong goddamn rec-room, didn't ya you bastard!

[BRIDGE]
THERE IN THE GROUND!
Rock, Paper, Scissors!
These ain’t no normal Tremors!
Perfection got Grab-oid problems!
Burt get the elephant gun!

[VERSE 3]
Wang’s Market is the town hot spot.
Everyone hangs around there.
Wang named the Grab-oids.
He was also a meal for one.

[CHORUS]
It was bologna and beans
Stupid sum-bitch knocked itself cold.
It was eggs. Over easy.
Cold my ass. He’s dead.
It was a cowboy lovin’ night.
We killed it! FUUUCCKK, YOUUUU!

[VERSE 4]
I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.
In the ground of Perfection, Nevada.
Is a whale of a worm problem.
These girthy subterranean invertebrates are fast & tough monsters.
It has a large beaked mouth.
Inside lies its many vicious eel tongues.
These tongues bite and grab the prey,
bringing it into the worms mouth for total devourment.
The live ones

[CLOSING CHORUS]
Dammnit! Valentine!
Running isn’t a plan.
Rock Paper Scissors,
Can you fly! You, sucker!
Earl & Val are hired hands.
Got a Grab-oid to kill?
They are the men for the job.

[END CLOSING]
Son of a God-damn bitch.
Pardon my french.
Shit.
We got another motha’ humper!
Burt get the elephant gun!
Well I’ll tell ya,
nobody handles Grab-oids better than we do.