Meany Pants Gangsta

Lyrics

[verse] just how mean I am I might just drop a letter off at the post office without a stamp on it Ooooo that’s just mean! Honery! [verse] I might step to an old man using a walker and say “nice ride” I might cut you off unexpectedly with a fart when you’re speaking I’m dangerous to my environment [verse] I might have food or drink go down the wrong pipe while I’m eating and have no expectations of it working out on my behalf I might not clip one toenail why? Why not! I may give you the benefit of doubt and maintain your innocence while a witch-hunt has it out for you, uninspected I might cut an eight slice pizza further into sixteen slices so more people can have a piece Ooooooo so mean [verse] I might hold the door open at a gas station for an entire family which prevents you from getting inside too quickly to pay for your pack of smokes I may pronounce your name correctly putting you into a tailspin because everyone always messes it up and you’ve long since grown used to it I’m terrible I might figure out a way that something can get done and that will totally lay waste to any opportunity to drag it out indefinitely or be non-committal about it [chorus] Man I’m mean I’m so mean Damn mean Definitely wearing meany pants [verse] I may cook dinner or pour you something to drink so you don’t choke out Maybe worse also provide you with a napkin and all the necessary utensils to partake in any aspect of the meal Whoa that is mean! [verse] I might float you a loan or give you the shirt off my back If you have a flat tire I might even help change it or even give you a ride to a service station so you can get it fixed and back on the road I might say hello and smile when you’re clearly having a rough day and hating life and people For real mean! [chorus] Man I’m mean I’m so mean Damn mean Definitely wearing meany pants [bridge] I might call you unexpectedly and when you pick up I might ask you if this is a good time to talk and actually give you choice in the matter [chorus] Man I’m mean I’m so mean Damn mean Definitely wearing meany pants [verse] I might sneeze and have no expectation of you saying bless you I might pet a random dog or cat because they came up to me and laid at my feet exposing their belly I might play games with kids so they have fun and laugh Or I might make sure that an infant gets some rest on a comfortable pillow with a blanket Just so damn mean! Don’t get me started that I’ll wear my seatbelt in the passenger seat so you don’t get a moving violation Take that! Yea uh! Mean!