Scared of Loving Again

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[Verse 1] I keep your name outside my phone Like distance makes a safer home The last goodbye left dishes stacked And taught my hands to pull right back I know the shape of empty rooms The careful way a promise blooms Then folds beneath a heavier day So I learned to leave before you stay [Pre-Chorus] But you don't ask me to forget You only meet me where I am yet [Chorus] The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again I see a door, I feel the ache, I turn around before it begins You reach for me with open hands, I count the ways this could end The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again But I still want you close, I just don't know how to let you in [Verse 2] I read your silence like a threat Make every kindness a regret You leave a sweater by the chair I picture all the damage there My heart is not a vacant place It's crowded with what time can't erase Yet when you laugh beside the sink I find one honest thing to think [Pre-Chorus] Maybe a wound can learn to rest Maybe your patience is a test [Chorus] The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again I see a door, I feel the ache, I turn around before it begins You reach for me with open hands, I count the ways this could end The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again But I still want you close, I just don't know how to let you in [Bridge] If I tremble, don't call it goodbye I'm just protecting the places that survived Stay while I loosen every chain I can't promise no fear, but I can promise change [Final Chorus] The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again Still, your voice makes a little room where all my worst thoughts have been You reach for me with open hands, and I let my fingers begin The pains and affairs of life got me scared of loving again I still want you close, and tonight I might just let you in [Outro] Tonight I might just let you in Slowly, slowly, let you in