Cary - nine years

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[Verse 1 – Soft, almost whispered] Today makes nine years, But it still feels like yesterday. I can remember everything, Except how to make this ache go away. The world kept right on turning, While mine just fell apart. And everybody says that time heals, But time can't fix a broken heart. [Pre-Chorus – Voice beginning to tremble] I've learned to live without you, But I never learned goodbye. And there's still a part of me That searches for you every night. [Chorus – Emotional, fragile, heartbreaking] Nine years without you, And I still don't understand. How I'm supposed to live forever Without reaching for your hand. I've smiled through all the heartache, I've cried where no one sees. And if heaven has a window, Cary, are you watching me? 'Cause nine years feels like forever, When forever's what we lost. And I'd give anything to hold you, No matter what it costs. [Verse 2 – Tender, intimate] They say that life goes on, And I guess somehow it's true. I've had a thousand different moments I just wanted to share with you. Sometimes I hear your laughter In the silence of a room. And for one beautiful second, I forget that I lost you. [Pre-Chorus – Quietly breaking] I wonder who we'd be today, What memories we would have made. But all I have are yesterdays, And the love that never fades. [Chorus – More powerful, aching] Nine years without you, And I still don't understand. How I'm supposed to live forever Without reaching for your hand. I've smiled through all the heartache, I've cried where no one sees. And if heaven has a window, Cary, are you watching me? 'Cause nine years feels like forever, When forever's what we lost. And I'd give anything to hold you, No matter what it costs. [Bridge – Music almost stops, voice cracking] You were only thirty-nine... There was supposed to be more time. More ordinary mornings, More of your hand holding mine. And I know I can't bring you back, No matter how hard I pray. But if love could've kept you here, You never would've gone away. [Final Chorus – Whisper turning into tears] Nine years without you, And I still say your name. The seasons keep on changing, But missing you stays the same. And if heaven has a window, Please look down tonight. I hope you know I carry you Through every day of my life. [Outro – Barely audible, piano fading] October eighteenth... Nine years since you had to go. And there's a million things I'd tell you, But there's one I need you to know. I didn't stop loving you, Cary... I just had to learn to love you From a place you couldn't hold me anymore.