Talking Dog Breaking the News

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[Intro] [Spoken/Dog Bark] Woof! Hey... wait, can you hear me? Oh man, the peanut butter unlocked the vocal cords! [Verse 1] I spent five years chasing my own tail Barking at the guy who brings the mail I thought the ceiling fan was my mortal foe And every single puddle had a secret glow Then master gave me a spoonful of the sticky spread And sudden clarity erupted in my doggy head! [Chorus] I'm a talking dog, yeah, I'm breaking the news! I got opinions on your funny-looking shoes! Fill up the bowl, open up the back door! I don't wanna sleep on the carpet anymore! Woof woof, talk talk, hear what I say! We're walking to the park three times today! [Verse 2] Why do you leave the house in the morning light? Why do you stare at the rectangle all night? The squirrel outside is an absolute cheat And I deserve a piece of that bacon treat! Don't test me, human, I know where you hide The crunchy little biscuits on the kitchen side! [Chorus] I'm a talking dog, yeah, I'm breaking the news! I got opinions on your funny-looking shoes! Fill up the bowl, open up the back door! I don't wanna sleep on the carpet anymore! Woof woof, talk talk, hear what I say! We're walking to the park three times today! [Bridge] [Tempo speeds up] Belly rubs now! No, lower, to the left! Who’s a good boy? I am, I'm deft! Wait, is that a tennis ball? Is that a ball?! DROP EVERYTHING, HUMAN, CALL OFF IT ALL! [Outro] Okay, calm down, deep breath, phew. So anyway... where were we? Ah right, the bacon. Pass it over. [Playful Dog Barking and Whistling] Woof woof! Talk to ya later! [Fade out]