Verse 1 Estelle’s a fucking lunatic, certified cracked, Swings at the polis just for a laugh, Lying belly-up on a Tunis hotel bed, Full of pasta, pizza, garlic bread. Rose wine dripping down her double chin, Vape in her hand like oxygen, Buttons screaming, jeans hanging on for life, Looks like she’s smuggled a fucking calzone inside. Pre-Chorus She’s chaos, carnage, a walking smell, A public health warning named Estelle. Chorus Oh Estelle, you absolute fucking riot, Zero self-control and you’ll never stay quiet, Your Audi smells like a wet dog’s shite, Windows down but it’s still not right. Dog hair, vape smoke, wine stains as well, Human disaster zone called Estelle. ⸻ Verse 2 Cleans old cunts’ houses twice a week, Half arsed dust while she’s robbing their sweets, “Just polishing, love” while scoffing their cake, Leaves biscuit crumbs in every place. That Audi interior is criminal filth, Smells like Kolby’s arse marinated in milk, Seats look like a kennel, steering wheel’s rank, Even the sat nav tells her to fuck off and walk. Pre-Chorus Parcels stacked higher than her self-respect, Delivery drivers need hazard pay cheques. Chorus Oh Estelle, you absolute fucking riot, Zero self-control and you’ll never stay quiet, Your Audi smells like a wet dog’s shite, Windows down but it’s still not right. Dog hair, vape smoke, wine stains as well, Human disaster zone called Estelle. ⸻ Verse 3 Always buying clothes ‘cause she thinks she’s posh, Old fat gear dumped in charity shops, Spent her youth in bedsits raising hell, Neighbours wanted witness protection from Estelle. Lost her licence drink-driving like a clown, Hi-vis vest while the town watched her clean shit down, Painting fences swearing at seagulls and bins, Community service counting her sins. ⸻ Bridge Smokes weed like it’s fucking incense, Still says she’s “cutting back” — absolute nonsense, Raises rose wine like a classy tart, Then farts and laughs like a broken go-kart. ⸻ Final Chorus Oh Estelle, you glorious fucking mess, Holiday queen with financial stress, Everyone’s lifting parcels while you’re off getting pissed, Coming back sunburnt with duty-free shite on a list. She’s loud, feral, mad as hell, And life’s one long headache round Estelle.
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