Tyler

Lyrics

“TYLER OUT THE BACK” [Intro] Welcome to Platypus Shoes! Need a size nine? Need a size ten? Need Tyler? …He’s out the back. 💅 [Verse 1] Tyler rolls in and he’s ready to slay, Selling fresh sneakers eight hours a day. Laces tied tight and his outfit on track, But where the fuck’s Tyler? HE’S OUT THE BACK! “Can I get these Nikes in a larger size?” Tyler disappears with a gleam in his eyes. Twenty minutes later, still no Tyler in sight— Mate, those shoes better be FUCKING CUSTOM-MADE TONIGHT. [CHORUS] 🎵 OH TYLER! 🎵 What you doing out the back? Supposed to grab the Converse, But you vanished from the rack! OH TYLER! You cheeky little queen, The hardest-working gay boy That Platypus has ever seen! Shoes in the front, Business in the back, If anybody needs him— HE’S CHECKING SOMEONE’S… SNEAKER STACK! [Verse 2] Manager says, “Tyler, where the hell you been?” “Stocktake.” For forty-five minutes? “…Very big stockroom, Karen.” He knows every shoe from Adidas to Vans, And apparently gives very thorough customer service plans. Need something fitted? Tyler’s your guy. Need help out the back? His eyebrow goes high. “Sir, would you like assistance with that?” Tyler’s already gone— CLICK-CLACK-CLICK-CLACK. [Bridge] Size six! Size eight! Size ten! Size twelve! Tyler’s extremely committed To checking every shelf! “Is there anything else I can help you find?” Tyler… WHY DID YOU WINK WHEN YOU SAID THAT LINE? [FINAL CHORUS] OH TYLER! King of Platypus Shoes! Selling sneakers all day With absolutely nothing to lose! OH TYLER! Our fabulous lad! Customer service so enthusiastic It’s almost concerning, Brad! So if you need some sneakers And Tyler’s disappeared— Don’t panic. Don’t call security. Don’t even fucking ask. He’s probably just… OUT. THE. BACK. [Outro — store announcement] DING DONG. “Attention Platypus customers: Tyler is urgently required on the shop floor. Tyler… Please stop providing VIP CUSTOMER SERVICE out the back.” … Distant voice: “I’LL BE THERE IN FIVE!” Manager: “You said that forty minutes ago.” 🎵 TYLERRRRRRRR! 🎵