Why me god

Songtext

THIS STATE OF MIND Slow country-rock — ~68 BPM Piano intro → acoustic guitar → violin swells → electric guitar → heavy drums [INTRO — piano, faint acoustic] Yeah… I’ve been talking to the ceiling again… (again… again…) Asking God if He can hear me… (can You hear me?) ’Cause I’m tired of fighting with a mind that I don’t recognize… [VERSE 1] I got regrets stacked up like boxes in the hallway, Old mistakes still screaming when the house gets quiet, I tell everybody I’m okay, but that’s a lie, I been losing pieces of myself just trying to survive. I pray until my knees hurt, tears on the floor, But every time I reach for Heaven, I feel farther than before, I ain’t saying I don’t believe, I’m just confused and mad, How you supposed to keep your faith when you feel abandoned by your Dad? (abandoned… abandoned…) [PRE-CHORUS — violin rising] And I know I’ve made mistakes, I know I’m far from clean, But God, if You can hear me… Please don’t let this be me… [CHORUS — drums enter, catchy but heavy] I don’t wanna die in this state of mind, I don’t wanna leave this hurt behind, I just wanna wake up and recognize The man I see when I look in my eyes. I’m angry, I’m broken, I’m lost somewhere inside, Been running from my demons with nowhere left to hide, And no matter how much I pray, Feels like Heaven turned away… (turned away…) But I don’t wanna die… I just don’t wanna live this way. [BACKGROUND VOCALS] (Don’t give up…) (Please hold on…) (You ain’t gone yet…) [VERSE 2 — acoustic + piano] I got people that I love that I pushed away, Got apologies I’m scared I’ll never get to say, I let anger drive the car while my heart sat in the back, Now I’m staring at the wreckage wondering how I got like that. I remember who I was before the darkness took my name, Before I learned to hide my tears and call my weakness pain, I’ve been fighting every battle like I’m supposed to do it alone, But even grown men break when they’ve been carrying too much weight at home. [PRE-CHORUS — electric guitar creeps in] I know I ain’t perfect, I know I’ve crossed some lines, But if You’re still listening… God, please give me a sign… [CHORUS — bigger] I don’t wanna die in this state of mind, I don’t wanna leave this hurt behind, I just wanna wake up and recognize The man I see when I look in my eyes. I’m angry, I’m broken, I’m lost somewhere inside, Been running from my demons with nowhere left to hide, And no matter how much I pray, Feels like Heaven turned away… (turned away…) But I don’t wanna die… I just don’t wanna live this way. [EXTENDED BRIDGE — strip down to piano + violin] Maybe I ain’t asking You for miracles tonight… Maybe I’m just asking You to help me make it through the night… (make it through…) I’m tired of pretending that this pain don’t hurt, Tired of telling everybody that I’m fine when I’m worse, Tired of waking up fighting battles from yesterday, Tired of hating who I am for the choices that I made. If You still love me, I need You right now… If You still hear me, I’m screaming out loud… I don’t need a mansion, I don’t need a sign, I just need enough strength To make it through my mind. ’Cause there’s a little bit of me Still fighting underneath… (still fighting…) And if there’s any road home, God, please lead me… I’ve got regrets… I’ve got scars… I’ve got memories I wish I could tear apart… But I’m still here… Yeah, I’m still here… And maybe that means You ain’t finished with me yet… [BREAK — drums stop, one piano chord] (You ain’t finished…) (Not yet…) [FINAL CHORUS — full country-rock explosion] I don’t wanna die in this state of mind, I wanna find the man I left behind, I wanna wake up and recognize Somebody worth saving when I look in my eyes. I’m angry, I’m broken, but I’m still alive, And maybe tomorrow I’ll finally understand why, No matter how far I stray, Maybe Heaven never turned away… (never turned away…) I don’t wanna die… I just wanna find my way. [OUTRO — piano, violin fading] I’m still here… (still here…) I’m still breathing… (keep breathing…) I’m still fighting… (keep fighting…) Maybe God didn’t abandon me… Maybe He was waiting for me to stop running… …and turn around.