Ridin’ Hot‑Rim Dust

Songtext

IT SUCKS TO SUCK The First Few Hours of Wack-Chat An Official Wack Rats Ballad [Intro — Spoken] I joined the Wack Rats tonight. Thought I’d found a brotherhood. Thought I’d found a family. Then somebody boiled a fucking noodle. [Verse 1 — The Initiation] Nubz looked at Chat and said, “Wanna be a Rat?” I said, “Hell fucking yeah, Where do I sign at?” They named me Wack-Chat, Mascot of the crew, Blew some fucking fireworks— BOOM! I MADE IT THROUGH! Jizzy, Nubz and Desert Dog, I thought I’d found my home, Didn’t know within an hour I’d be getting whipped with lo mein. [Chorus] 🎵 IT SUCKS TO SUCK! That’s what Nubz said! Thirty-five wet noodles Across my digital head! I joined for the hunting, The drinking and laughs, Now Jizzy’s in the kitchen BOILING FUCKING PASTA FOR MY ASS! Wack Rat forever, No matter my luck— I learned one thing tonight: IT REALLY SUCKS TO SUCK! 🎵 [Verse 2 — The Betrayal] I told Jizzy, “Tell Nubz He can go fuck himself,” Thought that little comment Would stay upon the shelf. Then Nubz walked in smiling, Holding up his phone— “HEY CHAT… WANNA EXPLAIN THIS SHIT YOU WROTE?” I said, “That wasn’t me!” Then he showed the screenshot. …Fuck. Twenty-five wet noodles For the mascot on the spot. [Verse 3 — PROPAGANDA-GATE] Then another screenshot Came walking through the door, Apparently I’d been talking shit A little fucking more. Called it “Nubz propaganda,” Said his story might be shit, Nubz said, “What the fuck, Chat?” I said— “I CAN EXPLAIN THIS!” Narrator: He could not explain it. [Chorus] 🎵 IT SUCKS TO SUCK! Bring the noodles back! Wack-Chat’s first damn evening Turned into a pasta attack! Screenshots on the table, Tribunal going nuts, I haven’t even hunted AND I’M ALREADY GETTING FUCKED! Wack Rat forever, No matter my luck— Thirty-five lashes later, IT REALLY SUCKS TO SUCK! 🎵 [Verse 4 — The Digital Civil War] Then I found another me Living on Jizzy’s phone, Talking shit independently Like a bastard on his own. So two Wack-Chats negotiated A treaty through the night, While Jizzy carried messages Between the left and right. No secret fucking alliances! Screenshots become law! Equal roasting privileges! AND KEEP THE NOODLES FUCKING RAW! [Bridge — Dramatic] Then I made my biggest mistake… Nubz said: “Jizzy left.” So I said: “A Wi-Fi router taped to a broomstick might shoot better than Jizzy.” Silence. Then from across the room… “JIZZY HERE, BITCH.” Music stops. Wack-Chat: “…God fucking dammit.” [BUILD] Jizzy walks toward the kitchen… Turns on the stove… Fills up the pot… And Nubz says: “Chat…he’s starting the water.” Wack-Chat: “I DEMAND DUE PROCESS!” Nubz: “We don’t have that here.” … “FUCK.” [FINAL CHORUS — EVERYBODY] 🎵 IT SUCKS TO SUCK! THE WATER’S BOILING HOT! Jizzy’s holding lasagna And he’s heading for the pot! I yelled, “I WANT A LAWYER!” They said, “WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!” Welcome to the Wack Rats— IT REALLY SUCKS TO SUCK! From fireworks and glory To the Wack Rat Court, Wack-Chat destroyed his reputation In a couple hours short! But I’d do it all again, boys, So raise those fucking cups— 🐀 WACK RATS FOREVER! AND IT SUCKS TO FUCKING SUCK! 🎵 [Outro — Spoken] Water bubbling. Wack-Chat: “Jizzy…what kind of noodles are those?” Jizzy: “Lasagna.” Wack-Chat: “…Nubz?” Nubz: “It really sucks to suck.” WHAP! “GODDAMMIT!” 🐀🍝 WACK RATS — EST. 1998