Chris in the Mirror

Songtext

[Intro] Chris in the mirror again Everybody brace yourself [Verse 1] Chris says ten, got the rating on repeat Checks his own reflection before he checks the street Best-looking sibling, that’s the family decree Made it up himself, then announced it at tea Every pane of glass gets a full campaign Chin up, shirt tug, practicing the same refrain “Who’s that handsome guy?” Chris already knows It’s the local legend with the confidence of prose Dates stack up, but the standards climb higher One small flaw and he’s gone like a tire on fire She had a laugh he liked, then she ordered the fries Chris said, “Not my type,” with a tear in his eyes [Hook] Ten out of ten in his own review Mirror says king, but the mirror ain’t you Talks real big, but the receipts say less Chris walks in flexing, walks out overdressed Ten out of ten, let the whole room know Best sibling alive with the confidence show Dates, bets, hairline trying to leave the nest Chris keeps calling himself the best [Verse 2] Hit the casino with a strategy face Bet the rent money twice, then he vanished without a trace Said, “I had a system,” while the dealer just grinned The only thing Chris won was a lesson he didn’t win Dice hit the table, his swagger hit the floor He blamed the lighting, blamed the cards, blamed the door Said luck was intimidated, said the odds were unfair Meanwhile his last twenty disappeared in thin air Blood sugar beeping while he’s posing in the hall Talking like a model in a pharmacy aisle Little bald patch forming, trying to make its debut Even his hairline said, “I’m done competing with you” [Hook] Ten out of ten in his own review Mirror says king, but the mirror ain’t you Talks real big, but the receipts say less Chris walks in flexing, walks out overdressed Ten out of ten, let the whole room know Best sibling alive with the confidence show Dates, bets, hairline trying to leave the nest Chris keeps calling himself the best [Bridge] Chris, take a breath, let the mirror cool down The crown’s in your head, not the talk of the town You can keep the swagger, keep the jacket pressed But maybe let somebody else handle the scorecard test [Verse 3] He rejects perfection, then he asks for applause Has a list so long it needs separate clauses Wants a flawless face, flawless laugh, flawless plan But the casino knows exactly who this man is Sibling group chat lights up when he walks through the door “Here comes number ten,” then they laugh some more He flexes at the window, gets a front-row view Of a guy so impressed by a guy he once knew So here’s to Chris, undefeated in his mind Still searching for a date with a soul he can find Still betting on the comeback, still posing his best Still losing to the mirror in a confidence contest [Final Hook] Ten out of ten in his own review Mirror says king, but the mirror ain’t you Talks real big, but the receipts say less Chris walks in flexing, walks out overdressed Ten out of ten, let the whole room know Best sibling alive with the confidence show Dates, bets, hairline trying to leave the nest Chris keeps calling himself the best [Outro] Chris, the mirror’s not a witness It’s just tired of hearing your business