Lyrics

There I was,
Just walking down the street alone.
I saw so many others
In each other's company.
Looked down at my feet,
And kicked a tiny stone.
I remembered how it felt
To walk alongside somebody.

But then, my eyes caught a glimpse
Of something quite alluring;
Ignored the laughing pimps,
And thought, "Hey, who are you fooling?"
I walked up to that treasure on the ground.
The sun revealed it - shiny and brown.

It was a piece of poop,
And it became my very best friend in the world.
Someone forgot to scoop,
And made me the luckiest girl in the world.
I heard it talk to me soothingly in my head.
"My name is Henry," was the very first thing that it said.

I threw my head back, and screamed,
"Hello there, Henry! How do you do?!
Did you know you're such a special piece poo?!"
He just sat there,
Didn't answer,
So I assumed he might have a hearing problem,

And then I yelled as loud as I fukking could,

"HELLO, HENRY!! YOU PIECE OF SHITT!!!
CAN YOU HEAR ME?!!!
WELL, IF YOU CAN, THEN I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I'LL ALWAYS NEED YOU NEAR ME!!!"
Then I heard it in my head,
So soft and slow,
Henry whispered,
"It's okay. I already know."

So then I got so happy that I screamed in joy!
I didn't give one fukk who it would annoy
Because I had to let the whole world understand
That Henry was my very special brown boy!

And my voice drowned out it all as I hollered,

"HENRY IS THE BEST FUKKING POOP IN THE WORLD!!!
I CAN TOTALLY SEE IT BY THE WAY HIS HEAD HAS THAT LITTLE CURL!!!!!
THIS PIECE OF POOP IS MORE SPECIAL TO ME
THAN ANYONE CAN SEEEEEEEEE!!!!!...
Dear Henry, please never leave-.......
........-MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Then he whispered in my head that he wouldn't,
So I held him, and I kissed him, and that's our story.