Lyrics

[Intro – trolley wheels squeaking, beat kicks in]
Let’s go, mi amor…
Just the essentials… yeah, right.

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[Verse 1 – English]
We came for milk, not drama, babe,
Now we’re four aisles deep and lost in grapes.
He’s got steaks, chicken, pork joints stacked,
She’s like, “Where’s the veg?” — he’s like, “I’ll be back.”

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[Verse 2 – Spanish]
Los niños gritan, quieren cosas feas,
Chips con queso, galletas, ideas malas.
“Mamá, cereales con chocolate.”
“¡Por Dios, no más azúcar en este debate!”

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[Chorus – Spanglish family banger]
Tesco fiesta, carrito sin ley,
Dad’s buying meat like it’s a buffet.
Los niños quieren azúcar pa’l desayuno,
Mum’s hiding broccoli like it’s contrabando.
Tesco fiesta, we try our best,
But we leave with snacks and family stress.

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[Verse 3 – English]
He scans the joints like it’s BBQ day,
She adds kale and rolls her eyes halfway.
The kids go rogue near frozen peas,
Screaming “ICE CREAM!” on their knees.

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[Verse 4 – Spanish]
Papá dice “steak pa’l domingo,”
Mamá says “great, y yo como un gringo?”
Kids sneak sweets and blame each other —
Tesco’s become Hunger Games for mothers.

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[Chorus – second round, louder]
Tesco fiesta, push that cart,
We lost the list… and also our hearts.
Los niños llenos de energía loca,
Now they’re eating snacks from the Coca-Cola.
Tesco fiesta, battle begins,
But we leave with wine — so everyone wins.

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[Bridge – spoken drama]
Mum: “We said no pork joints this week.”
Dad: “They were on offer!”
Kids: “WHERE ARE THE PRINGLES?!”
Self-checkout: “Unexpected item in the bagging area.”

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[Final Chorus – full family harmony, clapping]
Tesco fiesta, food and fights,
Laughing through fluorescent lights.
Steak, chicken, salad, bread,
Half this stuff we already fed.

Tesco fiesta — same old tale,
But at least we didn’t forget the ale!