Lyrics

(Verse 1)
I walked through the door just after six,
Boots still muddy, smellin’ like sticks.
She was waitin’ there with hands on hips,
Talkin’ ’bout laundry, dishes, and my chips.
“You left the seat up!” she started to moan,
I swear I blacked out by her second tone.

(Harmonica solo – mild distress)

(Chorus)
When you nag, I start to gag, the whole thing has me sick,
Your tone goes high, my soul says bye, and my brain just does a flip.
I ain’t tryin’ to be a jerk, but my stomach turns with every quip,
When you nag, I start to gag, and reach for my escape sip.
(That’s whiskey, darlin’… with a side of prayer.)

⸻

(Verse 2)
She asked me “Why don’t you ever just hear?”
I said, “I do, but only once a year.”
She threw a sponge and a hairbrush too,
I ducked behind my barbecue.
“You never vacuum!” she began to shriek,
I said “That’s ‘cause I did it… last week.”

(Harmonica solo – pure chaos)

(Chorus)
When you nag, I start to gag, the whole thing makes me pale,
Your voice turns sharp, my butt clenches hard, and my logic starts to bail.
I’d rather face a bear with a paper bag, than hear one more ‘tale.’
When you nag, I start to gag, and pray for internet sales.

⸻

(Bridge – slow and reflective)
Now darlin’, I love you—through and through.
But I’d rather be deaf, if that’s what it’d do.
Let’s talk with beers, not blame and frowns,
‘Cause every word you yell just brings me down.

(Harmonica solo – sad cowboy energy)

⸻

(Final Chorus – triumphant with a wink)
When you nag, I start to gag, but I still wear this ring,
Even if your voice could make church bells scream.
So maybe next time, just start with a smile,
And I might just stick around awhile.
‘Cause when you nag, I start to gag—but you still make my heart sing.

(Tagline – mumbled)
…sometimes.