Lyrics

[SPOKEN INTRO]
(One day..... If there could be just one day when I could go for a walk, and see a wild tiger snail with really bad breath and the hard, flicking tail of a mentally challenged angel breakdancing atop an oversized blade of mule grass, then maybe I'd know for sure that I could find love again... But chances are, I will never see such a thing. So I will maybe just sit here, alone, like always, merely painting these portraits of the one who I let slip away...... At least I have an endless subscription to Women's Kneecap X-Rays Around The Globe Magazine, and a shittload of broken anal thermometers to help me pass the time, although none of those things could ever... replace... you.)

[VERSE 1]
The way your bowels moved so elegantly,
Like shiny red snakes in a blood-red sea,
Would somehow have the means to comfort me
As I counted down the seconds 'til I had to pee.

We would go to the local Microbial Zoo,
And hold each other's hand while watching germs split in two.
Then we would make love nonstop for a month in Malibu
Until one of would finally have to take a poo.

[BRIDGE 1]
Do you remember being flaccid
When we each ate two cubes of acid?
Do you think back to eating snake's socks?
I loved when your mom shaved the flake rocks.

[CHORUS]
I close my eyes, and see the crunchy platypus.
Soon I'm asleep; still hear you say, "God damn! Ain't that a pus?!"
I push your back against the moldy rainbow -
Feel you slip deep inside - I scream, " You fukker! Say my name, bro!"

[VERSE 2]
We kissed at Jerry Seinfeld's heroin party.
I ate too many meth cakes, and they made me all farty.
We shared our first dance - "Wet-Ass Pussy" by Cardi.
We burnt down Jerry's apartment while blacked out on Bacardi.

Three years went by, engagement ring on your penis.
We shined true love's light on all who'd ever seen us.
You Frenched my beaver on that boat ride to Venus.
But then we fell apart, and now I only dream us.

[BRIDGE 2]
Shroom pizza - New Orleans - with Theo Von;
Last time we'd seen each other with no clothes on.
Rubbed trash burritos in my armpits while crying -
That's when you told me that our love was dying.

[CHORUS]
I close my eyes, and see the crunchy platypus.
Soon I'm asleep; still hear you say, "God damn! Ain't that a pus?!"
I push your back against the moldy rainbow -
Feel you slip deep inside - I scream, " You fukker! Say my name, bro!"

[OUTRO]
Fukk my kunt in stereo!
Who you gonna marry, bro?!
Moths' vaginas scare me, yo!
I pooped out seven berries! Oh!

Hi-ho, the derrry-oh!
Hi-ho, Hi-ho, the derrry-oh! derrry-oh!
Hi-ho, the derry-oh!
Still feel you pop my cherry-ohhhhh!!!...