“LICENSE TO COACH” (Bond-style theme song)

Lyrics

(Verse 1)
She had a desk, a view, a climb
Colorado paychecks, working overtime
Respect in her inbox, heels on the floor
But the mountains got quiet… and she wanted more

(Verse 2)
A voice said “Greatness starts with belief”
She clicked Enroll, chasing fake relief
Now it’s Maxwell scripts and conference calls
And leadership dreams taped to her walls

(Chorus)
She had a mission, now she’s pitching
Pyramid dreams, motivational glitching
Traded snow for debt and a downline pitch
With a license to coach—but no kill switch
The name’s Consultant… full-time pretender
Living near Mom… in pajama pants forever

(Verse 3)
She moved East with a vision board bright
But the glow wore off by the second night
No office now, just a fold-out chair
And “believe in yourself” taped to Tupperware

(Verse 4)
She holds fake meetings with her reflection
Gives pep talks to her own complexion
Her only friend’s a robot voice
“Alexa, play courage”—like she has a choice

(Chorus 2)
She had ambition, now it’s scripted
Coaching truths she never encrypted
Her suit’s in the closet, but the slippers stay
She sells mindset gold from a folding tray
The name’s Consultant… low-rank survivor
Still waiting for her legacy to go viral

(Bridge (soft, eerie))
She was once the one who had the plan
Now she just hits “mute” when she can
Alexa’s tired of all her cries
Says “Sorry, I didn’t catch that”—and neither did life

(Final Chorus (big, cinematic))
She had a mission, now she’s pitching
Success through fumes and algorithm switching
From mountain queen to MLM regret
She’s got a license to coach—but no safety net
The name’s Consultant… Diamond in training
In her mom’s spare room… where dignity’s waning

(Outro (slow and haunting))
She once led meetings… now leads her lamp
She sells the dream… in a motivational stamp
No Bond, no car, no chase through Rome
Just Alexa whispering…
“You are not alone.”