I’m not okay

Lyrics

I’m not okay

I wish my mind would be still
Instead my heart is sealed
Enclosed and locked
I hear constant slamming
Like a blacksmith bangs steel

I’m anxious
I’m uncomfortable
I’m miserable
Like Being alive is still some kind of miracle

penance must be paid
How I stole your heart
And made it like mine
Cold, alone, and afraid
I wish there were more of you
Then maybe, I’d find a peace of mind

Peace knowing you were whole
No scars or shattered pieces
Just your smile and light you bring us
This description of you may sound seamless
For many do not know pure love
Or genuineness

I miss you
But I pushed you
Away from what you were meant too
It’s hard for me to love myself
When I run from gifts that are so divine
Like I spit in the face of the cosmic creator
Because I’m unworthy of such a favor
Such a blessing, I can’t even see
A soul like you’re so pure
Why would it ever belong to me?

I’m not OK
But hopefully this too will pass
I’m not OK
At times I feel there would be more pleasure swallowing glass
I’m not OK
I wish I could right all my wrongs
I’m not OK
I’m in a place I shouldn’t belong
I’m not OK
But I promise to make it to tomorrow
I’m not OK
But I will be when you find happiness beyond the sorrow

I will always love you
You always have a piece of me
I hope that if we should ever depart
You remember me
the nights we shared where the stars don’t seem so far
As I look into the cosmos and how each star shines
I will always remember something so majestic like when I look into your eyes