Taking The Perilous Stand

Lyrics

(HI, EVERYO-... Oh, shit! Sorr-... UHH!! SOR- SORRY, EVERYBODY! PHEW!! Kindaaaa-... dropped the mic there. Any-hoooooo..... So, how're y'all doin' tnnnnn?.. Hnnnn?.. Whttt thhh fffck?! Hhhnnnnnnn! HHHNNN-HNNN THNNBBNN!! FFFNNNNNNNK!!!FFFNNNNNNUCK!!! FUUUUCK!!! FFFUUU-... Oh! Oh, it's back on, I guess... Look, I know a lot of you brought your kids to this "family-friendly" venue tonight, thinking it would be a "swear-free" zone, and it IS... TRUST me!.. -...GOD!! Okay, OH!! I mean, GOSH!.. Look, hey-... YAY!! THE MIC WORKS NOW!!! Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a round of applause for MISTER MICROPHONE!! WOOOO-HOOOO!!!! YEAH!!... Alright, alright.... Wow, off to a rough start, aren't we?!... Ha-ha-ha-HAAAA!!... Okay. Now.... in all seriousness, what do y'all think about the sens-..... Damn it!! Hold on-... RRRRRAAAAARGH!!! OW!! MY FUCKIN' BACK!! GOD DAMN IT!!!! UUHHH!!... HAAAAAaaaa, okay, everything's good now! I dropped the mi-... -...Excuse me... Wha-?..)

("I SAID, YOU CURSED AGAIN, DUMBASS!")

(...REALLY?!.. Well, so did you!.. Yes, you DID!.. -... Well, RIGHT when you told me that I DID, you fucking ASSHOLE!!... SHIT!.. I mean-.. ..sorry, ladies and gentlemen! I keep forgetting..... .......It's probably because EVERYTHING KEEPS FUCKING UP ON MMMEEEEEEEE!!!! MMMMEEEEEE!!!!!!! AAAAAARGGHH!!!!! FUCK MMEEEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES, BITCHES?!!! I'M COMPLETELY FUCKING INSAAAAAAANE NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!! LET'S PARTY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! WHO'S GOT THE COKE?!!.. OH!! OH!! LOOK!! IT'S HIM!!! HE'S GOT IT!!!! Come on up here Misterrrrr-...)

("What???... Oh. H-Holden. William Holden... Uh, that's me. Hi, folks!")

(Alright!! Sooooo... what's the dealie-o, Will?.. What's the going rate?... Orrrrrrr.. ...how's about it's just free if I let you take a fat gagger RIGHT OUTA MY GOD DAMN PUSSY CREASE, MOTHERFUCKERRRRR?!!.. SOUND GOOD?!..Alright, Will!! Hey, you're my kinda guy!.. Willing to do just about ANYTHING for a good laugh, am I right?!.. Okay. Let's just let me position myself on this barstool here... get SPREAD-EAGLE for ya', Will! YOU LIKE THAT?!... Oh, YEAH, you do!!! I can DEFINITELY tell!!. I-.. ...Oops! Sorry, Will.. I farted. Did you hear it?..)

("UHHH... yeah. I did.")

(Huh?... Oh! Haha!! Not YOU, retard!.... The AUDIENCE!! YEAH, DID YOU GUYS HEAR ME FART?!... IT WAS NAAAAASTY, HUH?!.. YEAH! It smelled like ronnnnffffnnn gfrrrrrn frfrfrhththnnn... FFFFNNNNNNCK!!!! FFFNNNNNNNNNKKK!!! NNNNNN!!!!!!)