Embracing Weirdness Wins Friends

Lyrics

[INTRO]
"Well, hello, boys and girls and neither and both and aliens and ghosts and goblins and furries and dump trucks and flesh trees and binaries and dual-binaries and non-binaries and teeth and windswept garbage and double voters and pubic tangerine spiders!.. How y'all doin' today?!"

("Good!!")

"Well, ain't that grand!! I wrote this one just for each and every one of you out there! It's about bein' different, and how that's just fine and dandy!!.. Okay, let's go!!!!..."

[VERSE 1]
I woke up this mornin' and saw my little sister -
She has giant boobies, and she's four years old.
My mommy called the doctor, he said, "You're an asshole!
She's just a little different; don't be so cold."

My mommy told the doctor, "I guess I believe you."
Then she grabbed my little sister's boobies, and said,
"If these mean you're just different, well I love you, and your titts, babe!"
Then she licked each nipple, and my sister cried.

[CHORUS]
Hey! Everyone's got differences;
That's what lets people know who you are.
Hey! Don't always put up your defenses;
Get to know what's different 'bout your friends, and you'll go far!

[VERSE 2]
That boy sitting next to that girl may have chest hair.
She should put her hand up his shirt, and have a see!
What do you mean, ma'am, when you say that seven-year-olds have no body hair?
Do you think you know kids' bodies more than me?..

Okay, kids, you heard the lady - off with all of your clothes!
Let's show this woman just how many of you have adult hair!
I bet that toddler in the front row has a wild full bush downtown!
I did when I was that age, ma'am! Not like you'd care...

[CHORUS]
Hey! Everyone's got differences;
That's what lets people know who you are.
Hey! Don't always put up your defenses;
Get to know what's different 'bout your friends, and you'll go far!

[BRIDGE]
Hey, little children!
Go comb your pubes.
Shampoo your pubes.
Taste your friends' pubes!

Hey, you zany babies!
Don't get your pubes stuck in diaper tape.
If ya' only touch pubes, it ain't rap