We’re Milo and Dexter

Lyrics

[Intro – bark, doorbell, zoomies SFX]
Dexter (spoken): “Oi, Milo, you farted again?”
Milo: “Not me, bro — I was emotionally barking.”
Let’s go!

⸻

[Verse 1 – Dexter, fast-paced]
I’m Dexter, the boss, the snack-sniffing king,
I’ll bark at the breeze, the post, anything.
I nibble your toes, I lick like a loon,
And eat everything… except my own food.

⸻

[Verse 2 – Milo, chill groove]
I’m Milo, the lover, the sneaky little spoon,
I’ll curl in your lap or howl at the moon.
I’ll lick in your ears ‘til your soul resets,
And steal your hair gel without regrets.

⸻

[Chorus – Both, harmonized like chaos]
We’re Milo and Dexter — it’s our house now!
We piss where we want and we don’t know how.
We zoom, we bark, we judge from afar,
And you still call us good boys — bizarre!
Milo and Dexter — kings of the floor,
Give us cuddles… or we’ll shit by the door.

⸻

[Verse 3 – Dexter solo, dramatic pause]
I don’t do rules, I don’t do tricks,
But I’ll do crimes for a Red Leicester fix.
Call me a goblin, a gremlin, a curse —
But I’m cute, so you love me (it’s honestly worse).

⸻

[Verse 4 – Milo croons]
I fake being chill, I play all coy,
But I’ll steal your sock like a Victorian boy.
Sniff it. Lick it. Hide it. Run.
Being suspicious is half the fun.

⸻

[Chorus – full chaos energy]
We’re Milo and Dexter — get out the way!
We bark at leaves and ruin your day.
We fart like bombs, we nap like kings,
Then freak out at invisible things.
Milo and Dexter — fluff and doom,
We run this house… from room to room!

⸻

[Bridge – soft, emotional twist]
Dexter: I bark a lot, but it’s ‘cause I care…
Milo: I lick your ears and your spikey hair.
Both: We may be short, but hearts are huge —
Now hand over sticks… or face the deluge.

⸻

[Final Chorus – full band, key change, epic dog vibes]
We’re Milo and Dexter — deal with it, mate!
We’re chaotic good with a side of hate.
We snuggle when we want, we love on our terms,
And we’ll sit on your lap when your leg just burns.
Milo and Dexter — dachshund elite,
We rule this house… with stumpy feet.