indifferent

Lyrics

my silence isn’t mystery,
it’s misery—
ten long years with
my tongue a prisoner
between my teeth.
no-win memories,
stretching like an eternity,
a slow burn in hell.
i walked tiptoed
through shadows,
each step a quiet apology.
not a sound, not a peep,
just the hollow ache of
the saddest eyes,
and empty plates
where hunger made a home.
i tried to be kind,
but mostly,
i was weak.
the days drifted by,
alone and suffering
barely noticed
the nights clung heavy,
sleepless and still.
no hope, no dreams,
no mercy—
it was hit or miss,
but mostly hit—
when it was my
stepfather’s fists,
speaking louder
than words ever could.
addicts and their
pincushion wrists,
chasing salvation
in temporary veins,
one more hit,
again and again.
existing felt like leaving,
slowly, painfully.
goodbye’s bitter kiss
still lingers on my lips—
i haven’t smiled since.
my mother’s indifference
cut colder than the grave,
harsher than the fists.
it was the kind of pain
that didn’t bruise,
just settled in the bones,
permanent.