Steak, Chips, Mash & Bottega

Lyrics

[Verse 1 – playful, laid-back]
I don’t need no menu, don’t need no flair,
No Michelin star, no vegan air.
Just slap down a plate and let me confess,
Medium well — yeah, I like it lifeless.

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[Pre-Chorus]
Some like fancy, some like flash,
But give me steak with chips… and mash.

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[Chorus – big and proud]
Steak, chips, mash & Bottega,
Just me and my missus, no drama, no theatre.
Plain and boring, salty and proud,
We’re wining and dining — in dressing gowns.
Steak, chips, mash & Bottega,
She’s got the fizz, and I’ve got the mega…
…plate.

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[Verse 2 – romantically simple]
No candlelight, no violins,
Just meat and mash and cheeky grins.
She drinks her gold from a sparkly flute,
While I salt this cow like it’s in a lawsuit.

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[Bridge – mock dramatic]
No jus, no glaze, no peppercorn mess,
Just butter and salt and minimal stress.
We could go out, but we both know…
I’d rather eat steak in a dressing gown show.

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[Chorus – repeat with extra harmonies]
Steak, chips, mash & Bottega,
Fancy as hell with none of the labour.
No queue, no taxi, no posh bill shock,
Just us and a cow and a crispy chip rock.
Steak, chips, mash & Bottega,
She’s my queen and I’m her… meat taker.

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[Outro – soft, romantic fade]
So here’s to the nights we stay in instead,
With a fork in my hand and her kiss on my head.
Steak, chips, mash — and her sparkle glass,
My date night dream… with a carb-filled arse.