
*police car sirens* [Verse 1] Shift starts at 0600 but we beat the clock, 0545, mic check, we’re 10-8 on the block. Half the time we get hit right out the gate, Traffic hazard in the road or a watch order we gotta check by 8. If nothin’ pops, admin ain’t even in yet, So we stretch it out a little, cause we do what we want, you bet. [Chorus] I’m a weekend day shift deputy, energy drink and a prayer, Biscuit in my lap, radar beepin’ in the air. Everybody does five under when they see that Durango sit, I ain’t gonna pull you over, I’m just diggin’ for the hot sauce packet. If you call we haul, don’t matter what side you’re on, Weekend day shift, 0545 till we’re gone. [Verse 2] First real stop is the gas station lights, Sausage biscuit, breakfast burrito, energy drink that glows green at night. Might be a Durango, might be a Charger, might be the Ram today, Find a church lot, nose out, back in the shade. Radar on, breakfast open, eatin’ while I’m runnin’ traffic, You’re sweatin’ past me at 5 under, I’m sweatin’ where’s my napkin. [Verse 3] Then we make our rounds like we own the map, Back roads, little towns, same dog, same mailbox flap. Take that one road we ain’t been down since last deer season, Just to say we did and give the tires a reason. Killin’ time behind the wheel solvin’ life’s big stuff, Talkin’ bout life, the county, and what in the world that guy’s doin’ in that truck. [Chorus] I’m a weekend day shift deputy, energy drink and a prayer, Biscuit in my lap, radar beepin’ in the air. Everybody does five under when they see that Durango sit, I ain’t gonna pull you over, I’m just diggin’ for the hot sauce packet. If you call we haul, don’t matter what side you’re on, Weekend day shift, 0545 till we’re gone. [Verse 4] Radio’s been quiet so we swing through town, Lookin’ for expired tags and anything suspicious hangin’ around. And right on cue like she pays county rent, “Cow out, black one, same spot on County Road 4000 again.” Every weekend, same cow, same ditch, I swear she knows my voice and just wants attention. [Verse 5] Now it’s 1300 and my boots wanna go home, I’m runnin’ ghost mode, takin’ back roads, tryin’ not to be known. Cause shift change is voodoo, everybody needs somethin’ at 1345, Wants a report from last Tuesday and a civil standby please I’m creepin’ at 30 tryin’ to be invisible, Prayin’ that radio stays quiet till that 1400 hits. [Bridge - bring it down for real] Yeah it sounds bad but we love this job, Off the wall talks in the car just to stay sane through the fog. We stand for a side most don’t even know, We carry things so you don’t have to, that’s the load. Don’t care who you are, if you like us or not, If you call, we’re comin’, that’s all we got. We’re the few. [Chorus - big] Weekend day shift deputy, biscuit crumbs and a prayer, Durango hummin’, Charger ready, Ram if we need air. You might catch us hidin’ eatin’ but we hear that radio pop, We’ll be there in a cloud of dust with a half-eaten tater tot. If you call we haul, that’s what we do, We’re the few in the front seat, yeah we’re the few. [Outro] 10-8 at 0545, 10-7 at 1400... if dispatch lets me. Cow’s still out.
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