Broken Crown Tape

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[Intro] Yeah I kept the receipts, kept the scars, kept the keys [Verse 1] I learned to count change on a cracked kitchen tile Mama made a little stretch for a family of five I wore the same black hoodie through the winter and spring With a borrowed pair of sneakers and a pocket full of schemes Everybody had advice, nobody had a plan So I shook hands with trouble just to feel like a man First deal went clean, second deal went wrong By the third one, I was writing every regret in a song I had friends turn ghosts when the pressure got near Had a girl say forever, then disappear I could hear my own heart through the wall at night But I kept that tough face when the house lost light Now the money came fast, but the room stayed cold Bought a chain for the neck, couldn't buy back the old If the past had a price, I'd be broke at the door Still sweeping up the pieces from a life I chose for [Pre-Chorus] I don't sleep much, I just close my eyes Hear every promise that I left behind If I look strong, that's a costume I wear I'm still that kid asking who really cares [Chorus] I got a heart full of damage, hands full of blame A pocket full of money and a head full of names Everybody sees the crown, nobody sees the bruise I keep winning every battle that I never meant to choose If you love me, don't promise you can save my soul Just sit beside me while the cold wind blows I was built from the hurt, now the hurt runs deep I got a heart full of damage, still trying to sleep [Verse 2] My brother called collect from a county line Said, “Don't let the neighborhood swallow your mind” I laughed like I knew what the future would bring Then I hung up the phone and forgot how to breathe I put my trust in a crew with a temporary code They were loud in the sunlight, quiet when the sirens showed One took the money, one took the blame One left town with a different last name I kept a list in my phone of the ones I miss Deleted half the numbers, still remember each digit At the club, gold lights made the champagne shine But I was watching every doorway like a man on trial She said, “You don't have to prove you're hard to me” I said, “You don't know the things that the dark made of me” Then she touched my face, saw the fear underneath And I turned away quick, couldn't stand being seen I wanted a clean break, wanted a clean start But the road knows my footsteps and it follows my car [Pre-Chorus] I don't sleep much, I just close my eyes Hear every promise that I left behind If I look strong, that's a costume I wear I'm still that kid asking who really cares [Chorus] I got a heart full of damage, hands full of blame A pocket full of money and a head full of names Everybody sees the crown, nobody sees the bruise I keep winning every battle that I never meant to choose If you love me, don't promise you can save my soul Just sit beside me while the cold wind blows I was built from the hurt, now the hurt runs deep I got a heart full of damage, still trying to sleep [Bridge] Maybe I can leave the block without leaving it inside Maybe I can tell the truth and let the armor slide Maybe all the men I lost would want me to forgive Maybe being hard ain't the same as knowing how to live [Verse 3] So I drove past the corner where the old store stood Fresh paint on the windows, still smelled like the hood Kids played ball where we used to settle scores One of them hit a jumper, everybody roared I pulled over slow, let the engine run low Felt a lifetime pass in the glow of the dashboard Called my mother first, said, “I finally understand You were holding up the ceiling with a trembling hand” Called my brother next, left a message at dawn Said, “I kept moving forward, but I carried you on” Then I called that woman, no rehearsed defense Told her, “I was scared of love, so I called it suspense” She didn't fix me, she just listened to the truth Sometimes that's the first thing a broken man can do I still wake from dreams with my fists clenched tight Still check every lock twice before I say goodnight But the mirror looks less like an enemy now And I can say my own name without lowering my voice [Final Chorus] I got a heart full of damage, hands full of blame A pocket full of memories, not a head full of names Everybody sees the crown, now I'm showing them the bruise I don't need another battle just to prove I got something to lose If you love me, don't promise you can save my soul Just sit beside me while the cold wind blows I was built from the hurt, but the hurt won't lead I got a heart full of damage, learning how to breathe [Outro] Still got scars, still got work, still got nights I can't explain But I made it past the version of me that only knew the pain