There Was Always Room for Bacon

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[Verse 1 — bright acoustic strum, crunchy electric riff] McDonald’s for lunch, fries on the way, Homemade burgers at the end of the day. Double up the cheddar, let it melt down the sides, Throw a few nuggets in with the fries. Salad? No thanks. Veg? I’m good. I’d blend a few berries when the mood struck. Then I’d toast two crumpets, butter ’em twice. First lot soaks in, second lot’s nice. [Chorus — full band] There was always room for bacon, Stack it till the bun won’t shut. I’d take a bite, it’d fall out the back, And I’d shove it right back in the bun. Wrap it round halloumi, hear it crack, Make a dozen, swear I’m saving half. I could be full to bursting, But there was always room for bacon. [Verse 2 — still upbeat, a little less swagger] Steak on a Friday, butter in the pan, I’d fry my chicken in it every chance I had. Now the air fryer beeps and I open the drawer. It’s plain chicken again. What was I waiting for? I bought apples, pears and a whole bag of plums, And a leek so long it stuck out the boot. There’s four more tubs of yesterday’s soup. I know what I’m having tomorrow, too. [Bridge — drums drop out] I still buy the berries I used to blend, Back when I fancied a smoothie now and then. Tonight I had a bowlful with the telly on. I’d eaten every one before I’d even tasted one. [Final chorus — half-time, weary vocal] There was always room for bacon. I can almost hear it now. There’s a bun in the freezer, tucked behind the peas. I see it every time I take the soup out. I let the bowl go cold beneath the kitchen light, Heated it again and left it there a second time. Funny what you miss when the house goes quiet. I’d give anything to hear that pan tonight. [Outro — lone electric guitar] Stack it till the bun won’t shut. That used to make me laugh.