Lyrics

HELLOOOOOOOOO,
My name is GREGORY CHAAAAAARRRRRLES!!!!
Now I'd like to tell you
A little about my-... -...PEEEEEEEETS!!!!...

First, I have a rat that's two years old.
He likes to eat cold chicken, and his teeth are gold.
He takes human-sized dumps that are bigger than himself,
And he likes to dress up like a special-needs elf!
He has a hankering for cheese!
He does not have a disease!
His name in the rat language is Dfffvvvtehththguhguh Srrrrpippittppippittuhththththfvfthtfvbvvvvgrtfth!!!!

Second is a spider that's been alive a month.
She's beige and brown, and has some abdomen bumps.
She likes to eat flies, and that makes me sad
Because the flies are my pets, too, and they call me "dad".
She hangs around in her web!
I gave her the nickname "Deb"!
But her name in the spider language is-... MMMMEEEEAAAAAARRRDGHLUHLUHLUHFRIIIIHH MOOMAAAAAAAHHHGRGRGRGRGRGRTIVITIHVIHRRRRRRRBOEBOEBOEBOEBUHVUHVUHVUHTRRROOOORRRRREEEEEEEDENDENDENHAGAHVRENNNZZZTFTKAAAAYYYYYNGGRUK!!!!!!!!

Then there is a capybara with a toupee,
The other capybaras seem to think he's gay.
If he is or isn't, I don't care either way
Because I'm rather "woke", as the kids would say!
He likes his hair to have style!
Sometimes he naps upon the tile!
His name in capybaranese is Horfhorfhorfklklklklklbuhbuhbuhbayrrrrrrduhduh ZzzzountrilllllllLLLLLLLLOMBAHWHOMBAHRRRUUUUUDIHDIHDIHFUHWUH-OCK-OCK-OCK-ALLIEALLIETOO TRRRRARRRebbehreckawecktrrrrrdoefraaaaagogorimp!

The last pet I will talk about is a walking stick,
And she is a girl, so she doesn't have a dick.
She can blend into a branch, which is really sick!
In fact, that is her favorite parlor trick!
She looks just like a fucking twig!
She laughs at the capybara with the wig!
Her name in Walking Stick-tongue is NNYYYEHNNNYYYYYEHHFEHVEHREHKOEGOEBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAALLLLLkeerydooritesssmmmereettttyyyyyarrrreeelllllllfoevoekurrrrrndrdrnr SSSHHHHHHHRRRRRRRAAAASYYYYYYYYZZZZZZZZZoburoburoburoburt-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-hhhhhhggg-T-T-T-T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-RRRRRWWWWEWEWEEEHHHRRRROOOWWWWWgooleytrekkkkkkiiiiiiinvgvnvgvnvgvnvgvchairchfarnesstraaaaa!!!!!!!

So those are just a few of my pets!
When they go on a vacation, they will take a jet.
I was going to write some more, but I haven't yet.
Do they love their owner? Well, the answer's, "YOU BET!!"
Some of them sleep, some of them dance!
Some of them don't mind wearing pants!
And, so, in English, I will say, "GOOOOOOD NNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!"!

SWEET DREAMS, YOU STUPID FUCKS!!!!!!!