Lyrics

[INTRO]
"Well, hello there, ladies and gentle buddies!.. My name is Strshrrvlvrffstshrshrishrviski Møłgrīnnurgski!! It is my pleasure to be meeting your faces and other various body parts on this fine and dandy day!.. This is a fun and bouncy song I made about six days ago! It's called 'Big Old Todd Greer And The Apes Of Mount Bubble Fingers', and it's based entirely on true events that have happened in the life of Yours Truly, (that's me)!!!... Okay. Time for FUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!.."
[VERSE 1]
There's Todd Greer - he's big and old.
Watch him spread cheer, and make dogs cold.
Come over here, and give him mold;
He'll give you some gear after all of it's sold.
"WWWWAAAAAAAAAH-HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHA-HAH-HAH-HA-HOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
[VERSE 2]
Now someone else is on her way.
Her name is Sally Puzzinski-O'Day.
She works at the Sam's Club. I think she's okay.
When she gets here, let's yell, 'hip-hip-hooray'.
"Okay, everybody... she's almost heeeeeerrrre... Ready?!... Okay!... One...two......... THREE!!!! HIP-HIP!!"
"HOORAYYYY!!!!!!"
"Jesus Christ, that was horrible!!!!! Look - let's try to do better next time a new person walks by, okay?!.. Right. Here's the chorus!..."
[CHORUS]
Big and old Todd! Throw a dirt clod!
Put something odd on your little pink rod!
I'll cook you cod, and you can eat it while you nod!
I found an old pea pod in Islamabad!..
"WWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! GOSH DARNIT!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!..."
[VERSE 3]
I showed you my butt 'cause it got a cut.
Hey, there's a weird dog, and I think that he's a mutt!
Stuck in a rut with a messy peanut.
Don't hit me in the gut at the Pizza Hut!..
"AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhBLEBBhhhhhhhhBLEBBUHBLEBBUHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..."
[VERSE 4]
Meet me at the top of the barber's shop.
Then we'll call a cop, just to tell them to eat slop.
Knives go 'chop'. Poops go 'plop'.
You should throw away your mop, if you want to grow a crop!
"YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Fresh journalists are CRAAAAAAZZZZYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!"
[CHORUS]
Big and old Todd! Throw a dirt clod!
Put something odd on your little pink rod!
I'll cook you cod, and you can eat it while you nod!
I found an old pea pod in Islamabad!..
"TAKE ME TO TOWN, MLŁBRBRUHSHEWEWEWQUARSKI!!!!!!!!!!!..."
[ACCORDION SOLO]
[CHORUS]
Big and old Todd! Throw a dirt clod!
Put something odd on your little pink rod!
I'll cook you cod, and you can eat it while you nod!
I found an old pea pod in Islamabad!..
"IN THE WORDS OF MY STUPID GRANDMOTHER - 'Ziłbrennyingrīkuvkuhv crbbblblbhuhrisfffffkengruh zziblllllkerkre.'"