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Finally Pedro resumed his fight with Zohan. He took a Pokemon Mega Venusaur EX and tossed it at his eye. “Pokemon attack!”

Just then at that moment, an annoying cookie-head-looking kid named Graysun fell from a United Airplane buttnaked on Pedro’s head and tried to strangle him, “Give me my Pokemon!”

Pedro squeezed the kid’s throat out and flung him back to Spain where his dead corpse landed on Luis Fonsi’s vocal cords and started a new song and virus called Despacito Dos.

Meanwhile, the card stuck itself up both of Zohan’s eyelids causing him to awkwardly ribbit like a frog and eat himself whole. Pedro then pulled a jetpack out from his placenta and zoomed right back to his home in Balehorne, Minnesota to get back to fishing practice.


First, Pedro had to tuck his baby into bed. Pedro loved his baby child. He had just given birth to it a year ago in a toilet factory. At first when staring at it’s ugly face that looked even worse than James Charles, Pedro wanted to flush it down. But then he realized he himself was rescued from abortion by a man named Fat Thony. When Pedro was just born, his mom, Loguida Lesbian, chucked him into a den filled with drunk, ex-auto bots. They were a gang known as the TransWarmers. They had a rival gang that they always fought with called the TransGenders. Often, the TransWarmers ate deep-fried TransGender and cheesy avocado sandwiches for breakfast with a side of horse testicles dipped in beaver butt juice. For drinks they usually slurped on Platinum Girl cum smoothies while watching sexy, Kentucky-based corn. Fat Thony had rescued Pedro and Pedro killed himself.

Pedro finally woke up from his dream.

“Oh god he shouted what hap-”

“You ODD’d again.”

“Michael Peñis what the cock are you doing here and what year is it?!”

An old man standing nearby named Gettle Feckelorian stood there and started buzzing as fragments of his skin began to crumble into a cooking powder and sprinkle on an equestrian bastard, oops I mean bastard equestrian.

Gettle spoke wearily, “Xcuse me can someone explain what the hell OD’d means?”

Michael Peñis plucked out his pubic hair and began munching on it like they were shredded carrots. “Umm old man, I think you are talking about ODD’d! See back in the year -2000 BC, people did drugs all the time and if you passed out and died it was called an overdose!”

Pedro sighed, “No, that was called a death.”

Michael Peñis cracked up, “Oh man my Hispanic hombre! He always had a sense of humor! He’s almost funnier than John Legochima!

Pedro sighed again, “First of all there’s no need for saying Hispanic hombre, just say hombre! That’s an illogical tautology!!! Second of all, what kind of an idiot talks about someone else in third person, when he’s right next to him! Third of all, just because you acted in Antdick doesn’t make you funny! And fourth of all, it’s John Dick-Cuisine-Mo’s!