Lyrics

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{Intro}
🎙️ [Background: grimy harpsichord melody]
🎶 They say royalty lived in luxury...
But I smell piss and powdered tragedy. 🎶


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{Verse 1}
🎶 Welcome to Versailles, where class is a con,
Golden rooms, and no plumbing—what the hell's goin’ on?
People shittin’ in stairwells, pissin’ in the breeze,
Meanwhile the king’s just fartin’ while they all say, “Oui, please!” 🎶

🎶 Watchin’ Louis get dressed like it’s must-see TV,
Whole court lined up just to see his damn knee.
“Etiquette!” they’d scream—while covered in lice,
But God forbid you yawn—you’d better curtsy nice! 🎶


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{Chorus}
🎶 Piss and prestige! Welcome to the scene,
Where perfume hides the stench and nobody’s clean.
They called it glory, I call it gross—
Versailles was a palace, but you held your nose! 🎶

🎶 Rats in the kitchen, cats on the prowl,
Nobles takin’ dumps in the bushes ...hey now!
Silk and syphilis, powdered wigs, so vain—
All that glam, but nobody's potty trained! 🎶

[harpsichord trill + trap hi-hats]


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{Verse 2}
🎶 Marie Antoinette with her 12-pound hair,
Meanwhile there’s cats fightin' under her chair.
No one bathes ‘cause “water makes you sick,”
So they just slapped on powder and hoped they didnt stink! (They still did!!)

🎶 Gossip like poison, toilets a dream,
Every hall smelled like death and feces.
But hey—it’s Versailles, so they smiled and posed,
While their chamber pots literally overflowed. 🎶


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{Bridge}
🎶 Shit on the stairs!
Piss in the air!
Fancy AF—but the toilets ain’t there! 🎶

🎶 Fleas on your ass!
Rats in your wig!
Smelliest place on Earth!
Home of the Sun King! 🎶

[Background: drum breakdown + screeching strings]


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{Chorus 2}
🎶 Piss and prestige! It’s a royal mess,
Gold on the walls, but they lived all distressed.
All that money, but the drains don’t drain—
It’s Versailles, baby—no shame, no shame! 🎶

🎶 Watch the king wake up like a freakin’ zoo,
While ten grown men fight to hand him his shoe.
History books say “grandeur and grace,”
But I just see a fart palace, with shit all over the place. 🎶


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{Outro}
🎶 You can paint it gold and call it Versailles,
But if you’re steppin’ in piss?
It’s still just a bougie-ass litter box. 🎶

[Background: (final harpsichord slam)]
🎶 Piss and preeeeeestiiiiiige—! 🎶
[Background: fart noise, rat squeak, echo trail off)]