Lyrics

I once knew a cat named Cynthia Paulson.
She liked to eat gibbons' lungs.
She had eighty-three toes, which made her look awesome.
She could climb any ladder, as long as it had an odd number of rungs.

Then Sarah Bibblekins, the neighbor's Scottish Bulldog, caught a bad flu.
She sneezed right in Cynthia's face; oh, what a bad girl!
Then Cynthia stuck a hind leg in the air, and cleaned her own vagina with her tongue,
And Sarah just walked away, she'd had enough of that world.

OOOOHHHHHHH!!!!! ANIMALS ARE WEIRD!!
SOME WILL SCRATCH YOUR EYES, OTHERS HIDE IN YOUR BEARD!!
AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ANIMALS ARE STRANGE!!
SOME WILL EAT YOUR FRENCH FRIES, OTHERS ARE DERANGED!!

I once knew a hedgehog named Alexander Strizzles.
He liked to play the paper clarinet.
He was obsessed with how soda made bubbles that fizzled,
And he learned how to be a Marionette.

Then David Goggisberg, the neighbor's Cow Killer Ant, said, "Hello."
Alexander didn't hear him, and that made David sad.
So David skittered right in front of Alexander, and said, "What's up, bro?"
Alexander just yawned like a very tired retarded man, and David went straight home very mad.

OOOOHHHHHHH!!!!! ANIMALS ARE WEIRD!!
SOME WILL SCRATCH YOUR EYES, OTHERS HIDE IN YOUR BEARD!!
AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! ANIMALS ARE STRANGE!!
SOME WILL EAT YOUR FRENCH FRIES, OTHERS ARE DERANGED!!