Lyrics

Grampa Jimmy’s got binoculars, a scanner and a map,
Says, “There’s somethin’ goin’ on — and I’m settin’ up a trap!”
Sits in his recliner wearin’ camo and Crocs,
there’s illegals sneakin past the Epping town docks.

Oh Jimmy, bringing it down,
This is basically a border town!
You’re more likely to find a smuggler on the loose
Than a mouse on moose.
“They’re hidin’ out in aisle five at the Market Basket, I spy!”


He once chased Venezuelan through the fields in town,
Turned out it was Carlos from Tren de Arugua getting ready to rob the town
The sheriff says, “Jim, please don’t go home,”
And Jimmy’s got ‘em on a list — written in garden gnome code.

He’s got trail cams by the stone wall, a drone he barely flies,
He Caught two Mexicans near the transfer station — probably be cartel spies!”
He grilled Liberal from Portsmouth just ‘cause he wasn’t a fan
“If you can’t speak English you ain’t from this land!”