Lyrics

[Intro – Sound FX: wind howling, chopper blades fading out, then silence]
🎙️ “This is a red-eye broadcast… from the stormy soul of Scotland.
Hold onto your kilts… and your bins. Storm Floris is here.”


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[Verse 1 – Deep male voice, steady rhythm with trance backing beat]
Storm Floris rippin' down the Clyde,
West to northwest, now it’s nationwide.
Glasgow rain, bins on the move,
Trampolines airborne, do the bounce and groove.

Power cuts loom, wi-fi’s weak,
Even big J's signal’s started to squeak.
Hold tight, Edinburgh, lock your gates,
Floris is flingin' roof tiles like plates.


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[Hook – Chant-style with rising synth]
Strap it down, trampolines and bins,
Floris don't care — she always wins.
Winds from the west, chaos on the shore,
It’s a battle of nature, hear the lion roar.


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[Verse 2 – Spoken with FX stutter echo]
Amber warning — not yellow, not green,
80 mph where the hills turn mean.
Gusts could crack the steeple tall,
Paisley to Air , brace for the brawl.

S ninety six choppers? Grounded in Abe’rdeen,
Offshore lads ain’t flyin’ that machine.
North Sea’s churnin’, big tidal waves
Even Neptune’s taking shelter in his underwater caves


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[Bridge – Light trance melody with vocal overlays]
Coastal spray, roads closed down,
Trees like spears fallin’ into town.
If ye must climb hills, rethink that trek — you'll
Give the Sea King pilot a bloody break.


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[Drop – Layered beat with crowd echo FX]
🚨 Strap it down — bins, trampolines, sheds,
Floris flingin’ wheely bins over heads.
Park yer car far fae the trees,
And don’t you dare go near the seas!


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[Verse 3 – Humorous and real]
Stay inside, don’t push your luck,
That Tesco tent’s about to fly like a duck.
Druids said, “A storm like no other,”
This one’s got rage from the sky mother.

Even Edinburgh Castle took the day off,
Royal Tattoo cancelled — that's no scoff.
75 years, now closed for the night,
When ancient wind wakes, you heed its might.


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[Outro – Celestial voice with wind FX]
Storm Floris came to clean the slate,
Not evil — just balance, cosmic fate.
North to south, let nature speak,
Ride it out, stay home this week.


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🌀 BONUS INFO DROP (Spoken at end)

Storm Name: Floris

Wind Direction: West to Northwest

Peak Gusts: 80–90 mph (some say 100!)

Warnings: Amber alert – power cuts, travel shutdown, flying debris

Choppers Grounded: Aberdeen offshore crew grounded

Public Message: Secure outdoor items, stay off hills and coastal edges.
“Let’s not make the Sea King fly unless it’s divine calling.”