Lyrics

Well, let me tell y’all a story ‘bout a feller named Evo,
Ugly as Herman, hell he ain’t no DeVito.
Eyes crooked like Sid from Ice Age fame,
Brains so empty, it’s a cryin' shame.

He walks bowlegged, yeah, we all suspect,
His lady's strap-on done broke his respect.
A Fighter Controller down at Bandbox base,
But even radars scream when they see his face.

Oh Evo, callsign Ferb,
Ugliest bastard, just mark my word.
No thoughts rollin' through that empty head,
Guess his girlfriend keeps his dignity dead.

Evo got that stare, Sid would recognize,
His own reflection makin' mirrors cry.
He's apathetic, don’t give a damn,
But everyone else gives a "holy damn!"

He's makin' calls up in the fighter tower,
Brains off duty, twenty-four hour.
His lady pegged him, every night and day,
Now he waddles funny in every way.

Oh Evo, callsign Ferb,
About as handsome as a squished ol' turd.
Thinkin's overrated, that's his stance,
Guess that's what happens from peggin' romance.

Bandbox radios crackle in pain,
Every time he speaks, pilots complain.
His face and logic both off track,
Poor Evo’s dignity ain't comin’ back.

Yeah, Evo’s livin', ain't too bright,
Crooked eyes and ass ain't tight.
Here’s to Ferb, apathetic disgrace,
The ugliest Fighter Controller ever on base.