Lyrics

My life was simply going nowhere
Then a tiny little man rushed to my side
He should've gotten a big thank you
Instead he got a port-a-potty ride

I was such a shithead
But he never quit on me
′Til I told him he was useless
And his sister was freaky

Once when we were watching Sunday football
A fuzzy screen was all that we could see
Whitey came over with a hanger
And spent the game on top of our T.V

And when the lightning struck him
He let out a wicked loud yell
But we just turned up the volume
And ignored the burning smell we should all rot in hell

I went to high school with Whitey
As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom
When he got there I said, "I can't believe you thought I was serious"
So he ran home crying and slow-danced with his mom

What a crushing blow to Whitey
I bet you wish you could take it back
How could you all be so mean to Whitey?
Sound to me like you are all on crack

Tonight Whitey was counting on this town
To show that we care
But the first time he really needed us we weren′t there
(And on Christmas Eve and the last night of Hannukah)
It's just not fair

Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum

I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand (yes)

Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum bum
Bum biddy biddy biddy bum