Lyrics

I've got a big ol' matted hair omelet
Sitting on a bed of chewable glass.
I met an ostrich named Allister Davis,
And he asked me to take pictures of my ass.

I snapped twenty-four, then messaged him a dozen.
Then I went home, and I slept in the oven.
Woke up from a dream that I was a puffin,
Just to find out I had become a fluffy muffin!

I wear women's pant suits when I go pooping in the malls.
There's a neon orange turnip that's got a nice pair of human balls.
Oh, you can pay a moose to dance, but you will never get my golden pants!
So please help me moisten all these walls.
All these walls...

There was a president bear last Easter
Filming documentaries about blue sauce.
He held out his hoof, and I shook it,
And from that moment on, we became best friends that always shopped together at Ross.

We got haircuts together, shootin' the breeze with the barbers.
We shared cups of ice cream at the San Diego harbor.
You see, I was the knight, and he, my shining armor.
We'd throw dry lima beans at at the neighborhood farmers.

I wear women's pant suits when I go pooping in the malls.
There's a neon orange turnip that's got a nice pair of human balls.
Oh, you can pay a moose to dance, but you will never get my golden pants!
So please help me moisten all these walls.
All these walls...

One! Two! Three!
I cut my brain on a tree.
Four! Five! Six!
I scraped my hair on some bricks.
Seven! Eight! Nine!
I got skid marks on my spine.
Ten! Eleven! Zero!
Adolf Hitler is my hero.