First Own

Lyrics

(holy shit, it's getting bad again)

Yo, I'm 18 going through hell, I thought I'm getting better but it was a lie. Laying in bed late at night, thinking if I should end my life. It's getting bad again.

These thoughts, I can't control my own mind.
I wanna kill myself but I can't.
I got a brother, a sister, mom and dad and they need me. Gotta pay the bills and the food on the plate.

It was not always like this, I was such a happy kid, till I realized with 12 this place where we live is full of haters and people that don't want you to become wealthy. Gotta grind through the pain, but it's getting bad again.

These thoughts, I can't control my own mind.
I wanna kill myself but I can't.
I got a brother, a sister, mom and dad and they need me. Gotta pay the bills and the food on the plate.

It feels like no one needs me, but my heart knows that I got a mission in this life. Gotta earn money, retire my parents, find the love of my life, moving out, getting married and getting kids.
That's the life I want, and it's not this.

It's a long way but I'll get through, it's hard I know and my mind wants that I end this endless life. But my heart knows I can achieve everything that I dream of, there's this person he's helping me everyday and I'm thankful.

(Shut up, shut up)

These thoughts, I can't control my own mind.
I wanna kill myself but I can't.
I got a brother, a sister, mom and dad and they need me. Gotta pay the bills and the food on the plate.

Voices in my head shouting everyday, but they don't know I got a man his name is Oliver, everytime he is near me, smiles or even just talks, all these bad thoughts are fading away.

(You know it, you'll get through it)