Heavy Gilbert

Lyrics

Gilbert was a schrimp, but not your normal kind
His mom and dad capybaras, left the other schrimps in a bind
They teased him for his rodent roots, his furry snout and paws
But little did those bullies know 'bout Gilbert's secret flaws

He was a dog inside his shell, with quite peculiar traits
A pee-powered jetpack on his back to zoom him 'round the lakes
And if a predator got near or bullies caused him strife
He'd point his booty their direction and projectile poop for life!

(Chorus)

Gilbert, Gilbert, the half-dog, half-schrimp!
Jetpack powered by his piddle, enemies bowled over by his blimp!
Gilbert, Gilbert, the capybara spawn!
Bullies beware his blasting booty of brawn!

The other schrimps all mocked his looks, his inter-species kin
But Gilbert blasted off with pee and left them in the wind!
He'd soar above the lily pads and splatter poop below
On any mean ol' bully schrimps who dared to tell him no!

(Chorus)

So if you see a creature streak across the pond one day
Propelled by tinkle thrusters and raining feces like a spray
Just know that it is Gilbert, don't get caught within his blast!
This half-dog half-capybara schrimp is one unique half-caste!

(Chorus x2)

But there's a catch to Gilbert's powers, a quirk that can't be missed
For all his poop projectiles to stay locked and loaded in his schist
He must munch on Pringles constantly, Sour Cream and Onion flavor
Without this crucial crunchy snack, his bum-blasts lose their savor!

So if you spot him on a log, a-chomping on some chips
You'll know he's prepping for his next defensive butt-blast blitz!
A Pringle-powered booty-zooka, armed with stinky green schrimp-scat
This dog-capybara-schrimp's a force to fear, and that's just that!

(Chorus)
Gilbert, Gilbert, the half-dog, half-schrimp!
Jetpack powered by his piddle, enemies bowled over by his blimp!
Gilbert, Gilbert, the capybara spawn!
Pringles fuel his blasting booty of brawn!