The Living Room

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MAN CRUSH Written by Monty Maulding [Verse 1] My wife said, “Honey, come look at this,” I figured some home renovation. Then Riley Green came on that screen, And interrupted my concentration. She said, “Those eyes!” I said, “That voice!” She said, “That man’s a dream.” I said, “Scoot over, you’re blocking the view— I’m trying to watch Riley Green.” [Verse 2] He tipped his hat and flashed that smile, Seemed kind as he could be. I’ve spent thirty years learning how to charm her— He did it through the TV. She said, “You reckon he’s single?” I said, “That ain’t our concern.” Then I Googled where he bought that shirt, ’Cause a man can live and learn. [Chorus] I got a man crush, my wife does too, We got a little situation in our living room. She loves his smile, I love that drawl, We’ve watched the same dang clip since fall. Ain’t nobody leaving, our marriage is fine, We’re just sharing the remote and losing track of time. She says, “He’s handsome,” I say, “Well, shoot— I got a man crush, my wife does too!” [Verse 3] I bought a black hat, grew my mustache, Practiced leaning on my truck. Said, “Baby, how’s this country-boy look?” She said, “Honey, don’t push your luck.” I tried that low voice ordering breakfast, The waitress leaned in close: “Sir, I can’t hear a word you’re saying— You want biscuits or toast?” [Chorus] I got a man crush, my wife does too, We got a little situation in our living room. She loves his smile, I love that drawl, We’ve watched the same dang clip since fall. Ain’t nobody leaving, our marriage is fine, We’re just sharing the remote and losing track of time. She says, “He’s handsome,” I say, “Well, shoot— I got a man crush, my wife does too!” [Bridge — spoken duet] [Wife] “If Riley called, what would you say?” [Monty] “Depends… does he need cowbell?” [Wife] “You don’t even play cowbell.” [Monty] “I’m an expert. Check the album cover.” [Cowbell solo — much too enthusiastic] [Final Chorus] I got a man crush, my wife does too, Now she’s buying concert tickets—I’m buying boots. She wants front row, I want backstage, She said, “Monty, please act your age.” Ain’t nobody leaving, we’re riding together, Been a long time since date night looked this much better. She says, “I love you.” I say, “I love you too… But if Riley needs cowbell, I got work to do!” [Outro — spoken] [Wife] “Who are you dressing up for, anyway?” [Monty] “…Both of y’all.”