Don’t wake a sleeping wife

Lyrics

[INTRO]
I married the perfect girl, so pretty, so sweet, so nice.
Except when you accidentally wake her in the middle of the night.

[VERSE 1]
Every night I tiptoe around the house.
Turning out the lights while quietly like a good spouse.
I make it upstairs, she’s still asleep, I think I’m in the clear.
But then I step directly on my kids sharp and pointy hot wheel.


[CHORUS]
The noise wakes her up, she glares at me.
She thinks we’re in the middle of an emergency.
Her heart is racing, she’s wide awake.
Her clumsy husband has made a big mistake.
I should have stayed downstairs, where I was safe.
Now I ruined her night and most of the next day.
If I were smart, I would just stay up all night.
Sleeping is nice, but I’d rather enjoy my life.

[VERSE 2]
Even if I make it into bed quietly.
Gliding in like a ninja silently.
The moment I fall asleep, if I dare.
That's when I begin to snore.

[BRIDGE]
Even when I avoid making any sounds in the dark.
When I fall asleep I even wake her with a loud fart.