The Winter You Closed Your Coat

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Original lyrics · Indie soul / melancholic alternative R&B Verse 1 You had a way of making winter Feel embarrassed for the cold Put your hands around the thunder Told me it was getting old And I believed you, I believed you Like the sun believed the dawn Never thought to ask the daylight What would happen when it’s gone You wore your sorrow in the lining Of a coat you never closed Kept the worst of all the weather Somewhere I would never know And I was busy being careless I was busy growing tall Never noticed you were shrinking Just to make room for it all Pre-Chorus Now the ceiling’s just a ceiling And the walls don’t know my name Funny how a house keeps standing When the reason doesn’t stay Chorus Who holds the sky when your hands let go? Who tells the dark where it isn’t allowed? You spent your life standing in the doorway Now I’m standing where you stood somehow And I hate that the world didn’t notice Didn’t stumble, didn’t split in two All those years you kept me breathing Who was keeping breath in you? Oh, I would’ve held the heavens If you’d told me they were falling on you Verse 2 Found a button in the hallway From a shirt you used to wear Such a stupid little object For a thing that isn’t there And I held it like a heartbeat Like a country, like a crime Like the universe had left me One small piece of borrowed time I remember all the fighting Not the kind that leaves a bruise But the battles you kept winning Just to give me room to lose You made enemies of mountains You made promises to seas And I thought that you were fearless You were just afraid for me Pre-Chorus Now I’m older than the version Of myself you got to know And there’s something so unfair About the things you won’t see grow Chorus Who holds the sky when your hands let go? Who tells the dark where it isn’t allowed? You spent your life standing in the doorway Now I’m standing where you stood somehow And I hate that the world didn’t notice Didn’t stumble, didn’t split in two All those years you kept me breathing Who was keeping breath in you? Oh, I would’ve held the heavens If you’d told me they were falling on you Bridge And I am angry at the morning For arriving just the same At the birds for being thoughtless At the people saying your name Like it’s something they can finish Like a sentence, like a prayer Like the air should still be moving When you’re not the one in there And I keep finding little pieces Of the life you left behind In the way I check the windows In the way I say, “I’m fine” I became the things you taught me But I learned them far too late Now I know how much you carried And there’s no one left to thank And isn’t that the cruelest thing? You finally get to rest And all I want is one more day Of you being tired instead. Final Chorus Who holds the sky? I think I know I’ve got your hands, I’ve got your doubt I stand between the world and someone And I finally understand it now But I hate that you won’t get to see me Become the things you always knew You spent your whole life fighting for me And I couldn’t fight the end for you Oh, I would’ve held the heavens I would’ve torn the stars in two If there’d been a way to save you Like you always saved me too Outro The winter came. I closed my coat. I heard your voice. I walked back home. And for a moment I was small. And you were there. And that was all.