Blue Belt Bentley

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[INTRO] Yo, it's the lab, the bench, the night shift grind, James Bentley's got a story that'll blow your mind. [VERSE 1 – OLD JAMES] He filed a Datix, he drafted an SOP, When a pipette fell, he said, "Let's just hope." Staffing short, analyser glitch, HR on the line, James kept his cool, said “we'll fix this fine.” Emails pinged, he wrote polite replies, Escalated with grace, avoided all the lies. Old James was a wizard in the lab's quiet halls, Now the BJJ belt changes how he answers all calls. [CHORUS – BLUE BELT BENTLEY] Blue Belt Bentley, twist, hold, and then you see— Every problem’s a grapple, every quarrel set free. From the bench to the mat, he’s flipping the script, Blue Belt Bentley, take a dive, take a trip. [VERSE 2 – NEW JAMES] Now he rolls in the break room, a tiger in a mask, When a colleague yells, he says, “I’ll pin you fast.” Rota disputes? He’s got a triangle, Takes out a complaint, makes the HR chime. The analyser’s stuck, he applies an arm bar, A staffer taps out, “I surrender, oh star!” “Escalate?” he laughs, “We just need a kimura, The lab’s a ring, and I’m the bravura.” [CHORUS – BLUE BELT BENTLEY] Blue Belt Bentley, twist, hold, and then you see— Every problem’s a grapple, every quarrel set free. From the bench to the mat, he’s flipping the script, Blue Belt Bentley, take a dive, take a trip. [BRIDGE] SOPs are now a submission hold, Datix reports, a chokehold bold. “Competency?” he says, “Just a guard pass,” “Staffing crisis?” he locks, “This is my class.” [HOOK] Oh, the lab lights dim, the mic drops, James rolls the crew into a flopped.