Lyrics

[A female voiced, upbeat, funky, mildly exasperated anthem about the dumbest adult habits we all pretend are normal. Sung by women)


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[Verse 1 – Bouncy bass, funky guitar, playful vocals]

🎶 I should be getting dressed but I’ve been sitting in a towel.
🎶 For four whole hours.
🎶 Just staring at the wall.

🎶 The volume can’t be an odd number—I don’t know why!
🎶 And I eat candy for dinner, I’m literally 37, goodbye.

🎶 Turns out we ALL just fake arguments in the shower,
🎶 Let the laundry "rest" in a chair,
🎶 Put things in "safe places"—then lose them forever,
🎶 And make to-do lists of things we already did!

(Spoken: "Shhhhut up. I like to feel accomplished, okay?")


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[Chorus – Big, dramatic, layered vocals]

🔥 WAIT—YOU DO THAT TOO?!? (Oh my god, I’m not alone!)
🔥 WE’RE ALL A MESS, WHO KNEW?!? (Adulthood is a scam, confirmed!)
🔥 WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?!? (Somebody PLEASE explain!!)
🔥 BUT HEY—AT LEAST IT AIN’T JUST ME, SO I GUESS I CAN’T COMPLAIN!


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[Verse 2 – More chaotic, brass punches in]

🎶 I got 30 tabs open—I don’t even know why…
🎶 And I just hit “Remind Me Tomorrow” for the 400th time.

🎶 "This quiz will tell me my soulmate’s name!"
🎶 It’s 12:49. My appointment’s at 1.
🎶 But I’ve got time.

🎶 I watch my shows like it’s my first time through,
🎶 "Oh my god, is she gonna pull through?!"
🎶 Babe, you’ve seen this five times.

🎶 Driving to work, screaming along
🎶 To the most violent, unhinged song…
🎶 Then crying when a dog dies in a movie.

(Spoken: "I don’t wanna talk about it.")


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[Chorus – More exasperation, but fully unhinged]

🔥 WAIT—YOU DO THAT TOO?!? (I thought it was just me?!?)
🔥 WE’RE ALL JUST WINGING LIFE!! (Who let us pay bills?!?)
🔥 WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?!? (Is this adulthood?!? Yikes!)
🔥 BUT HEY—AT LEAST WE’RE NOT ALONE, SO I GUESS WE’LL BE ALRIGHT!


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[Bridge – Dramatic, mock-inspirational, gospel choir enters]

🎶 We may be a disaster… but we’re in this together…
🎶 If we all forgot to take the chicken out, did it even really matter?

🎶 "No, no it did not."

🎶 "Now let’s go eat cereal at 10PM like the functional adults we are."

🔥 [Final explosive chorus – Full choir, way too dramatic]

🔥 WAIT—YOU DO THAT TOO?!? (I KNEW I wasn’t alone!)
🔥 WE’RE ALL JUST SURVIVING!! (Nobody knows what they’re doing!)
🔥 WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS?!? (Guess we’re all unqualified!)
🔥 BUT HEY—AT LEAST WE’RE NOT ALONE, SO I GUESS WE’LL BE JUST FINE!

🎶 [Outro – Sudden beat drop, whisper:]
"Wait… you ALSO re-read texts ‘cause you don’t remember what you just sent?"

🎶 [Silence. Then—one last exasperated piano hit.]


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