The Ballad of Calvin and The Fall of The Pun-isher
style of Lord Huron, ballad, alternative, indie,Lyrics
Calvin-the-Chocolatier, signs in at ten,
Restocks the truffles, and tempers chocolate again.
Hayley is humming, and Shelby’s mid-spin,
Danielle’s in the back, letting ganache settle in.
Annabella unlocks, while Abby sets chairs,
Rachel and Kelly, trade caffeine-deficit stares.
No sign of storm brewing, no whisper of fate,
Calvin’s nemesis coming, with jokes not-so-great!
Deep in the heart of the café so bright,
Calvin’s chocolatier crew: they prep for the fight.
A whiteboard with trivia, a case of confections,
All ready for tourists and crazy random questions.
(Chorus)
Fie Michael! Your punchlines won’t break us tonight,
Your groan-worthy puns, they won’t dim our light.
We’ll best you with flavors, truffles fresh from their mold,
With sarcasm and stories, and laughter so bold.
Through caramel forests and cocoa bean streams,
We built this safe haven of sugary dreams.
But shadows are creeping, a voice fills the air,
Michael comes chuckling, “You’d butter beware!”
He stands at the doorway, his grin shining bright,
“Hear the one about the café? It’s ‘grounds’ for a fight!”
The counters start shaking, the walls start to crack,
Each pun that he drops, sends the world turning back.
The Chocolatiers groan, these Dad-jokes aren’t new,
In tourist retail - they’ve heard more than a few.
Michael is laughing, his jokes never cease,
A torrent of wordplay—will we never know peace?
But Calvin just grins, with a twinkle so sly,
And orders a milkshake, to silence this guy.
Blending scoops of vanilla, and espresso so light,
One sip so divine—it silences Mike!
(Chorus – The Fall of the Pun-King)
Fie Michael! Your punchlines won’t break us tonight,
Your groan-worthy puns, they won’t dim our light.
We’ll best you with flavors, truffles fresh from their mold,
With sarcasm and stories, and laughter so bold.
Michael kneels, and the jokes fade away,
A ghost of a smirk, he’s got something to say.
“You’ve bested me, Calvin, I see it is true,
You’ve turned twenty-one - the café force is strong with you.”
Then Hayley steps forward, a toast in the air,
"To Calvin the fearless! No joke could compare!"
Shelby just laughs, "You melted his might!"
Danielle cries to the heavens, “You’re a legend tonight!"
Annabella grins, "A duel for the ages!"
Abigail smirks, "Let’s write this in pages."
Kelly lifts high the first birthday shake,
"For Calvin, our hero—the one Mike couldn’t break!"
The echoes still whisper, the battle is done,
Michael lies shattered, his wordplay undone.
Calvin just chuckles, having had the last say,
It’s not a bad way, to spend a twenty-first birthday!
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